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MAR 10 - MAR 17, 2015

City Hall Jokes

March 10, 2015

Dyster, a pit bull, a homeless person, a train passenger, a hockey player, a parking consultant, a Wendell engineer, two Third Street business owners and a Buffalo attorney walk into a bar and the mayor shouts, "Drinks for all my friends and send the bill to the taxpayers!"

The city's "lending arm" is the NFC chaired by Mayor Dyster. Incredibly, one knows what the "C" stands for. After observing Dyster and his NFC board for the past seven years we suspect it stands for "chicanery."

As water lines froze along 72nd Street Mayor Dyster took time last week to post his Facebook love for Buffalo Bills running back Fred Jackson. What negative and hard hearted soul could ever accuse the mayor of being completely out of touch with regard to what is and what isn't important in the lives of Niagara Falls residents?

It was cold in Niagara Falls last week. How cold was it? It was so cold that the Mayor's beer spigot seized up.

It was so cold the mayor and council were seen warming their hands in the taxpayer pockets.

But it wasn't cold enough to freeze city spending.

After learning of the Matt Anello free speech verdict council chairman Touma demonstrated his keen understanding of the First Amendment by saying, "I'd have let Matt have his say, but he would have had to say it in three minutes."

There's no truth to the rumor that city firemen responded last Friday when Donna Owens got her tongue stuck on the city hall flag pole.

A city official was heard to say, "What's all this fuss about pipes not working. My pipes haven't worked right for years and my wife is fine with it."

Mayor Dyster's investigation into the "real" reason for the frozen water lines on 72nd Street continues. He's ruled out shallow pipes as the cause and is now considering global warming and sun spots as possible culprits.

Overheard in LaSalle: Is that a blow torch in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

One of these things is not like the other:

Trash totes - paid with casino cash

Isaiah 61 program - paid with casino cash

Ice Pavilion - paid with borrowed money


We haven't forgotten. In the past ten years Charles Walker has filed exactly one of the 20 campaign finance reports that he owes to the NYS Board of Elections. At this pace the councilman should be fully compliant with election law by the year 2205.





Our Report on the Proposed Hamister Hotel Through a Series of Connected but Separate Stories
Hamister Seeks Tax Discounts, Grants, Discounted Real Estate -- Totaling $9.4 Million
Job Promises, Job Delivery - Vast Errors By Expert State Officials
Hamister to Build Lower Quality, Lower Density Than RFP Sought
Price Doesn't Sound Right
How Was Hamister Selected?
Financing in Question?
Hamister Hotel History - A Shrinking Deal With Escalating Handouts
A Key Property, if Built as a Hyatt Place, Will Be Underdeveloped
The City Hall Good Life
Former Lockport Youth Director At Center of Credit Card Investigation Files Complaint with State
Council Unanimously Approves Hyde Park Pavilion Bond Resolution
Why I Voted for Ice Pavilion Renovation - But Paid For With Casino Cash
The Best Community to Live, Work, and Raise a Family Ortt Reaches Out To Reporter Readers
Niagara Falls Getting Hamister Hotel, Not Nik Wallenda
Only in North Tonawanda: Questions for Common Council
Sound Off on Steroids? No Sweeney, it's Not All The Republicans Fault
Mayoral Candidate Szwedo Talks His Talk with Sense of Humor
Native American Marijuana Production A Bad Bet for Niagara County Taxpayers
Findings Warn About Continuing CMO Vacancy at Erie County Correctional Facilities.
Casino Cash - Gone with the Wind
Paladino Carrying Fight to Minority Board Members
Military-Strength Anti-Bleeding Product Coming to Stores
Skrlin Hammers Home a Homely Masterwork
The Great One Scores Again: Skrlin Deftly Weave a Monster Story
Letters to the Editor
City Hall and Dog Park Jokes

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Phone: (716) 284-5595

Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
Senior Editor: Tony Farina