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APR 28 - MAY 05, 2015

City Hall Jokes

April 28, 2015

Don’t forget to tip your waiter. Gordy Stewart III, chairman of the city Democratic committee, announced his committee’s endorsement of Paul Dyster for a third term saying, “You simply can’t deny the fact that there is more development in this city occurring under the leadership of our mayor than literally in my entire lifetime.” Apparently Gordy is a comedian.

Alicia Laible announced that she’s going to hold a kissing booth fundraiser to stimulate her campaign. Paul Dyster announced that he’s going to keep kissing the collective hindquarters of the Buffalo Boys in order to fund his re-election.

“Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me! Sing along everybody! Is this microphone on?” Paul Dyster at the Polish Nook April 22.

As the mayor cut his birthday cake he closed his eyes, made a wish and blew out the candles, but when he opened his eyes…the Niagara Falls Reporter was still there.


While the city Democratic committee glowingly endorsed Dyster for a third term, the 72nd Street frozen water pipe committee declined to endorse Dyster for a third term.

Don’t picket or it’ll never heal! When Mayor Dyster heard that the Citizens to Save the YMCA were going to protest outside city hall he reacted with anger, saying, “The solemn atmosphere of the peoples’ building should be utilized for more meaningful displays of public unity such as a gay pride flag raising on Memorial Day weekend!”

Just saying. We’re not accusing the members of the Democratic city committee of being drunk when they unanimously endorsed Paul Dyster for a third term, but they did hold the meeting in a bar. Maybe they should pass out Breathalyzers at their next get together.

When questioned about the “Save the Y” demonstration the mayor told the Gazette, “I would love to see the YMCA continue, but it’s just not in the cards for a city as poor as Niagara Falls…I would have to layoff five firefighters or five policemen in order to finance the project, and that’s not an option.” Apparently blowing through $89,000,000 in casino money, building a $45,000,000 train station and a $50,000,000 courthouse along with handing nearly $900,000 to a Buffalo law firm are perfectly affordable in Dyster’s “poor city.”

The recent Andrew Touma “one-question” survey has been released:

Which do you think will happen first?

A) The Great Pumpkin will appear to Charlie Brown’s friend, Linus

B) Paul Dyster will break ground on the Hamister hotel project

“Turn left at the hoop skirt factory then go for a quarter mile till you see the button hook emporium. It’s up the road a piece from the dry goods store.” (Directions to the Paul Dyster train station).

We understand Mayor Dyster is on the warpath over the Reporter. He’s gone so far as to request that the paper be removed from some city buildings. The mayor’s tone has city employees afraid to be seen holding the tabloid let alone reading it. We haven’t witnessed this type of behavior since Mayor Irene Elia tried to ban the paper. We all know how that played.





Monument to Madness Result as Dyster Recycles Bad Idea?
Dyster Makes Odd Appearance on Darro
City Democratic Committee Rubber Stamps Dyster and his Council Candidates
Reporter Will Listen to Paul Dyster Should He Care to Comment Which He Doesn't
Upper Mountain Fire Co Caught in Controversy as Lewiston and Niagara County Litigate Tower
It's Official: Dyster Picks New Secretary for City Council
ECC May Be Struggling, But Quinn Traveling the Country
Brochey Asks Hard Questions About Lewiston-Queenston Bridge Plaza Expansion
Stop Playing Games With the Security of the USA!
Polling Well, Dreaming and Voices
"WNED-TV "Designing Olmsted" Program hypes so-called Park "Improvements"
Skrlin Draws Blood on Trashy Cartoon
North Tonawanda History Museum Used Book Sale, Saturday, May 9.
Only in NT: Brownfields a Toxic Opportunity
Two Dates for Dinner and Talk with Judge Sara Sheldon o-n Veterans Court in May
This Week in Stupid Crime
Treasury Says Debt is $18,112,975,000,000
Letters to the Editor
City Hall Jokes
City Of Woe
To the Tune of Blowin ' In The Wind A Work of Satirical Rhyme
SCOPE President on SAFE ACT: An open letter to the New York State Senate Republicans
DEC Announces Seasonal Employment Opportunities in Summer Recreation
No Chronic Wasting Disease Found During 2014-15 Game Season
Choolokian on the Centennial Circle Jerk
DEC Issues Guidance to Homeowners to Avoid Problems with Bears

Contact Info

©2014 The Niagara Falls Reporter Inc.
POB 3083, Niagara Falls, N.Y. 14304
Phone: (716) 284-5595

Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
Senior Editor: Tony Farina