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JAN 06 - JAN 14, 2015

Heard Around City Hall and Other Jokes!

January 06, 2015

Heard around city hall

"Has anyone seen that Hamister check, it was here a minute ago?"
Charles Walker

"Look out Mr. Mayor! The guitar is falling!"
New Year's Eve reveler

"I don't care if you're the 'gatekeeper' of the casino money, I asked you to take the garbage out an hour ago!"
Becky Dyster

"Three plus nine and carry the one…"
Maria Brown

"I wonder what you have to do to get a stipend around here?"
113 city hall employees
"Let's plan our next meeting with the planning committee to discuss the Jayne Park Plan and that's sounds like a plan to me unless you've got a better plan."
Tom DeSantis

"Gee, these totes are hard to move."

Donna Owens
"We're making history here, Mr. Mayor."
Clint Brown, writing the Orchard Parkway grant

"We're making history here, Mr. Mayor."
Kevin Cottrell writing the Underground Railroad grant

"There's absolutely no truth to the rumor that Mayor Dyster will suspend the 2015 mayor election and declare himself City Emperor."

Craig Johnson, corporation counsel

"I'd rather have a root canal than sit through one more Dyster 'cabinet' meeting."
15 Department Heads

"I'd rather have an appendectomy without anesthesia that sit through one more meeting with the city administrator."
15 Department heads


Mystery solved:
The residents and some media have wondered why the Dyster administration is in perpetual debt. According to Dyster, the controller and the council majority, the source of the debt areemployee pay, health care and pensions.

And all this time we thought it was the $50 million courthouse with a $3,2 million, 30-year annual debt, the $45 million train station, $100,000salaries, out of control overtime, endless pay stipends, millions of dollars for consultant studies, $9 million for the Ice Pavilion, $700,000 for Isaiah 61, $150,000 for Community Missions,$700,000 for Hard Rock Concerts, the shuttered Underground Railroad Interpretive Center, the parking plan, engineer consultant fees, SWEET, $2.3 million for trash totes, new vehicles for cityhall, the $450,000 city hall parking lot, millions of dollars for Third Street grants, the planned $3,2 million animal shelter, and a whole lot more. Silly us.





Is Dyster's Proposed $3.2 Million Animal Shelter Plan For the Pits?
Bite Statistics to Sink Your Teeth Into
New Council Chairman Touma to Create Financial Oversight Panel
What's to Become of 2015?
Astounding Difference in Price Paid, and Service Between Maid and Hornblower
Dyster's Use of Casino Cash for Cop Cameras Comes into Focus
Guitar Drop Strikes Sour Political Note
Palace Theatre to Stage 'Harvey' With Veteran Cast
Three Sisters Islands Latest Casualty of State "Improvements" Approved by Dyster
More 'Bad' Improvements to Goat Island
Choolokian and Council Made History with 2012 Fracking Ban
First Baby of 2015 At Memorial
Mafia 'Betray the Gospel,' Italian Bishops Say in Rare Rebuke
Musician With Down Syndrome to Perform, Inspire at Jewish Community Center
Memorial's Competitive EDGE Sports Performance Program to Hold Open House
Only In North Tonawanda!
Same Incident, Two Versions by First Lady Obama
Federal Gov. Funds Consensual-Girlfriend-Slapping Videogame
Grandinetti Makes Case for Caso to Replace Kinney as DPW Head
Dyster on Darro Left a Few Questions Unanswered
Marrone Knew Bills Needed a Quarterback and He Got a Wide Receiver
The Next Time You're in Trouble, Call a Rapper Instead of a Cop
This Week in Stupid Crime
It's Official: FBI Confirms City's Crime Rate Highest in New York
Mario Cuomo Was Gifted and Proud Italian American
Another Proud Skrlin Masterpiece
Ask Dr. Anne
Illegal Plant Causes Anti-Freedom Reaction
Poetry Corner
Letters to the Editor
Cigarette Smoking Higher in WNY, Among Poor
Heard Around City Hall and Other Jokes!

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Phone: (716) 284-5595

Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
Senior Editor: Tony Farina