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JAN 06 - JAN 14, 2015

Ask Dr. Anne

By Dr. Anne Aswhipe

January 06, 2015

Dr. Anne Aswhipe (Az-wee-pay)

(All the world over, people are seeking advice on the problems that confront them, hoping that someone kind and knowing will guide them to make the right decisions. Generally the people who write to a perfect stranger who writes a newspaper column are among the least intelligent and therefore are likely the ones who need the most help. If you have a problem write Dr. Anne Aswhipe (Az-wee-pay) PO BOx 3083, Niagara Falls NY 14303, or email


Dear Anne : I have a serious problem that is taking its toll on my marriage. My husband, "Lewis," and I recently hired a live-in nanny who moved six states away to work for us. She is great with the kids, polite and receptive to me -- but when it comes to my husband, Celeste can barely bring herself to be civil.

Lewis and I were both committed to making this a rewarding experience for Celeste. He even invited her to play darts with him in his dart league, swim with her in the pool - he even bought her a new bikini, tried to teach her massage therapy and always tries to be helpful - even to the extent of offering to stay home and help her babysit with the kids when I go out shopping.

Celeste on the other hand makes disrespectful "humorous" comments about him or to him all the time.

Lewis has tried to be nice to her, but he has reached the end of his rope, and they can't seem to work it out. How can I help this immature young lady realize that mean comments, even in jest, sting? Celeste is about to lose her job.

Just About Had it in Lockport

Dear Just About Had It: You and Celeste are overdue for a frank talk about how most male employers do not invite their young nannies to socialize the way your husband did. Is it possible that he did something that she considered to be inappropriate, and this is her way of getting back at him?

Even if that is not the case, it is clear that Celeste's presence in your household is creating tension and discomfort. And from my perspective, it would be better for all concerned if you found yourself another husband.

Divorce Lewis at once!

Dear Anne: Could you please clarify something for my husband and me? My brother and his wife have been divorced for several years and his ex-wife has nothing to do with my children. Should they still refer to her as "Aunt Geraldine"? I say no. After all, my brother is divorced and this would be very uncomfortable for his new wife.

My husband says that Geraldine is still their aunt. Who is right? --

Carol in Niagara

Dear Carol: Who cares? I mean really, who cares? Geraldine isn't around any more, anyway. It sounds like you have a little too much time on your hands. Your brother's new wife, if she' smart, will stay away too - from you - if I'm any judge of character.

Dear Anne: I am 38 years old. In 2000, I separated from my husband, and, after a long and contentious battle, in July 2003, my divorce was final. I'm a strict Catholic and I did not want the divorce. I wanted a Catholic annulment.

But it was going to be very expensive and my ex would not contribute to the annulment costs in any way.

In 2004, my husband (or ex) suddenly passed away.

After my husband passed, the church, thankfully, no longer required the annulment because the "till death do you part" clause had been lived up to.

Therefore, am I widowed or divorced?

A Little Confused in Niagara Falls

Dear Confused:
In the eyes of the state of New York, you are divorced. In the eyes of the church, you are widowed. In my eyes you're a stupid idiot for wasting my time with your question.

By the way did your husband die of natural causes? In the eyes of the authorities, you may very well be a suspect. If you did it, I hope they hang you by your pretty little neck.





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