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APR 14 - APR 21, 2015

City Hall Jokes

April 14, 2015


Mayor Dyster and the council majority walk into a bar. The council majority turns to the bartender and says, "The mayor is going to order whatever he wants and howevermuch he wants and that's fine with us, just send the bill to city hall!"

Meeting announcement of the Paul Dyster Fan Club: This month's get together will be held in the basement broom closet of the Como Restaurant.

Kristen Grandinetti lashed out recently at Mayor Dyster's critics over Facebook writing that she is upset at all the "mayor bashing" going on. Always the schoolteachershe ordered Dyster's critics to stand in the corner.

"It looks like frozen pipes, a $50,000,000 train station, $63,000,000 city debt, higher taxes, crime and a bungled trash plan have pushed us off the front page."- ALaSalle rat.

When Donna Owens heard that the Aquarium Penguins were given $150,000 in casino cash she said, "I sure do hope those funny little birds spend the money responsibly."

Professional discourtesy. Sylvia Virtuoso the Town of Niagara Clerk took to Facebook to defend Paul Dyster and claim that at $78,000 per year the mayor, like "otherelected officials, "is over worked and under paid. Really, Mrs. Virtuoso? We'll take two of your Town snow plows, you can have Mayor Dyster.

Location, location, location. Hollywood producers are going to be in town next week scouting locations for the sequel to the hit movie, Frozen. "From what weunderstand 72nd Street will be perfect," said Jeremy Pivkin of Disney Studios.

Overheard at the recent planning session of the Paul Dyster Dog Pound Committee: "My pit bull's favorite bone is in my arm."

Political dictionary

City Engineer: A formerly mandatory city position that Paul Dyster essentially removed from government so that he can 1) complain that he has no engineer 2) hire afriendly outside consultant 3) pass the tremendous cost on to the taxpayers, all in violation of the city charter.

"I rob banks because that's where the money is." Willie Sutton

"I drain the casino account because that's where the money is." Paul Dyster

"Talk is cheap yet consultants are so very expensive. Isn't that ironic?" Paul Dyster in a rare moment of reflection.





Kicking Cahill to the Curb Now Beginning to Compute Dyster Getting his Reelection Ducks in a Row
Boy Wonder Undercoffer Leaves Council Secretary Position Dyster Getting Reelection Ducks in a Row.
Republican Newcomer Tompkins Running Along With Price for Council
Skurka to Speak on Shroud of Turin: Is it Real or Ruse?
Facebook Provides Trip Down Memory Lane for Falls Residents
Dyster to Raise Gay Pride flag In Ceremony at City Hall
Now it Can be Said: Dyster Sold Negligent Council a Lot of Garbage
A Week in Stupid Politics
Promoter Crogan Gearing Up For Arts & Music Festival Here
A Regal Entrepreneur Joe Calato Made His Mark in the Universal World of Drums and Drummers
Aquarium Project to Cost $15 Million; Penguins Simply Couldn't Care Less
The YMCA Building Given to Niagara Gospel Rescue Mission; Now What?
Virtuoso Announces Run For 13th Term on County Legislature
Lewiston Democrats Name Town Justices Sheeran and Gee as 'Citizens of the Year' Justices will be honored, Sunday April 26, at Country Club Bruncheon
ECC President Quinn Was Finalist for Partnership Job
Brochey Undecided About Running for Reelection, Lewiston Supervisor May Run for Highway Superintendent
Retired FBI Fire Arms Instructor Claims 'Armor Piercing Ammo' Bans as Ploy to Disarm and Strip Citizens' Second Amendment Rights OUR CONSTITUTION AND THE UNTOLD TRUTH
County Subsidy to Failing ECC Falls Short of Mark
Only in North Tonawanda
This Week in Stupid Crime
Pigeon Takes Flight for Hillary; Walter to Carry GOP Banner
Letters to the Editor
City Hall Jokes

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Phone: (716) 284-5595

Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
Senior Editor: Tony Farina