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NOV 11- NOV 19, 2014

Dyster Visits the Woodshed Jokes

November 11, 2014

The Niagara Falls Reporter revealed in our October 28th edition that Mayor Paul Dyster met briefly with Gov. Cuomo in Buffalo following the gubernatorial debate. The governor summoned the mayor; they met for about 10 minutes, and Cuomo expressed his displeasure with the political goings-on in Dyster’s hometown, particularly the deficit spending of a city that gets $20 million in casino cash every year.

In any event we characterized the meeting as rather like the governor taking the mayor out to the woodshed and giving him a spanking.

Naturally, since we have penchant for writing unfunny and tasteless jokes, we are submitting the following for your annoyance.

Dyster explained to the governor that he had a perfectly reasonable plan to solve the deficit… He was going to treat it like a 12 pack and make it disappear.

The governor was enraged over Dyster’s handling of casino funds telling him, “You’ve got the spending habits of an irresponsible drunk!” Duh.

Dyster told Cuomo the city’s casino cash wasn’t real money, so the city deficit was just a figment of the governor’s imagination.

After Cuomo delivered the tongue-lashing, he screamed at the mayor “And I don’t want to read about this on your damn Facebook page!”

Dyster offered to give Cuomo new rugs and curtains courtesy of the casino cash interest account if he’d spare him the verbal dressing down.

Cuomo told Dyster, “Don’t call me until you get your act together!” Looks like they won’t be talking anytime soon.

His Honor said, “the governor is a handsome man, but he’s really dreamy when he’s angry.”

We don’t think the mayor got the message. The day after the butt whipping, Dyster sent Cuomo a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates.

The mayor said the woodshed spanking wasn’t quite as pleasurable as a rousing bout of towel snapping in the men’s locker room.

A newsman asked the mayor if he had been spanked before by a man. Dyster replied “No, but I’ve had a few backrubs.”





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Phone: (716) 284-5595

Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
Senior Editor: Tony Farina