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OCT 22 - OCT 29, 2015

Gus the Goose Gets Dyster's Goat

OCT 22, 2015

It takes a goose to figure out the Totes McGoat record-breaking government fail that occurred last week in the Dyster administration.

While the ridiculous, if sinister, rubber goat mask is laughable in appearance this goose does submit that the McGoat incident perfectly embodies what the Dyster administration has done to the city for the past eight years: bumbled the city into deficit and debt with irresponsible and outright foolish programs. 

What was the goat’s goal? Apparently to promote the trash and recycling program that was forced on the residents in spring 2014 in a move that cost $2.3 million in casino revenue for totes. The blue trash tote was undersized and the green recycling tote was oversized while the businesses were left out of the plan all together. Exactly how is Totes McGoat supposed to repair the waste of taxpayer cash and the ignoring of the residents who’ve been forced to live with Dyster’s trash and recycling program? The Dyster administration doesn’t listen well because listening slows the hidden agenda.

City hall has tried to turn the heavy odor of epic failure into the papered over appearance of “any publicity is good publicity even if it’s bad publicity.” Let us not forget that this is the same administration that’s tried to spin good news out of the budget deficit, city debt, a busted casino cash account, a rat problem, frozen water pipes, and increased crime.

Last week the Niagara Gazette weighed in with a scathing editorial - “Totes McGoats isn’t doing Niagara Falls any favors” that read, in part, “It would be funny if it wasn’t so ridiculous and such an unfortunate use of resources…The finished product leaves so much to be desired it almost defies description…This is one idea that the Dyster administration should deposit in the nearest landfill - never to be recycled.”

It’s hard to believe the Dyster think tank wasn’t aware that a goat image is frequently used as a symbol of evil, the devil, and as a “mascot” for the satanic. It has crossed this goose’s mind that this may be an elaborate sick joke played on all of us by those who would promote the devil. Either it’s a sick joke or Totes McGoat is an example of what Dyster’s best and brightest are capable of. Frankly, I don’t know which explanation is more disturbing.

The “mascot” for the trash and recycling plan should be light hearted, non-threatening, and welcoming to child and adult. Think Muppets, think puppets, think cute, lovable, and a bit quirky. Think of, oh, let’s see, uh…a Canada goose as the mascot. And that goose is standing, or flying, right here: “Gus the Trash and Recycling Goose!”

Slogans? “Don’t be a silly goose: Recycle!” Or, “Honk if you’re a recycler!” And, “Geese fly south for the winter but they recycle all year round!”

The Canada goose is native to the area, we feed in the parks and we swim in the local waters. We go well on the holiday dinner table, but in the interest of self-preservation the less said about that the better.

As a goose I wouldn’t have to wear a dumb rubber mask. School children would find me cute – adorable even – and inviting. With a comfort and humor level established the trash and recycling education would seamlessly begin for children.

Readers of the Reporter know that city hall put a bounty on my head for speaking against the Jayne Park “renovation project.” I may be a goose, but I’m not a vengeful fowl. I can talk business when I have to and I know the art of the deal. The question is, does Mayor Dyster have even the slightest notion of what’s good for this city?

Mr. Mayor, let me take the trash and recycling program under my wing. Have your people call my people and we’ll turn this public relations disaster around.







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