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FEB 10 - FEB 17, 2015

City Hall Jokes!

February 10, 2015

What do Sasquatch and Mayor Dyster have in common? They both avoided the Vince Anello show throughout 2014.

Council chairman Andy Touma is doing a survey seeking the opinions of residents regarding Charles Walker's late financial reports: When do you think Mr. Walker will finally file his campaign reports, A) When hell freezes over B) When pigs fly or C) When the sun tumbles from the sky.

Mayor Dyster was a guest on the Vince Anello radio show on Feb. 4. Dyster said the vast majority of city residents approved of his trash and recycling plan. He didn't say how the residents felt about his higher taxes, out of control spending, and crime.

The mayor recently said the Hamister hotel will "break ground in June." He also said that Santa Claus was hard at work at the North Pole and the Tooth Fairy bought a new magic wand.

His Honor is determined to put parking meters on downtown streets. That's like putting port a potties in the Sahara desert.

Dyster called the Maid of the Mist boat storage project "a military like operation" due to the speed and coordination it demanded. Yeah, we know it was "military like" because the work "invaded" the gorge, "exploded" environmental regulations and "shot to pieces" the taxpayer dollar.

The mayor's new parking plan is destined to join his other great plans: the Jayne Park Plan, the pay college students to live in the city plan, the Third Street revitalization plan, the Underground Railroad Interpretive Center plan and the Casino Cash no-plan-plan.

The mayor defended his parking plan, asking critics, "What would you rather have right now, my parking scheme or downtown shopping, fine dining, live entertainment, attractions and family entertainment?"

Mayor Dyster is always right, even when he's wrong. While on the Anello show the mayor ended his sentences by saying the word, "Right?" 79 different times.

The rodents are now weighing in. On February 2 "Niagara Falls Ned" the local groundhog slipped from his city hall burrow and saw his shadow. That means it will be another 6 years until Niagara Falls realizes any economic development.

File this under heard but unverified: Mayor Dyster was recently picked up by local police for public drunkenness and taken before the judge. When the judge asked him, "do you know why you're here?" Dyster slurred his answer: "no, your-a-lonor."

The judge said, " well you're here for drinking."

To which Dyster perked right up and asked the judge, " Well when do we get started?"





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Competition Expected to be Intense for Just Five Growing Slots Statewide
Walker Still Hasn't Filed Disclosures, Hamilton Wants Him Censured
Accardo Running for Mayor
City Animal Shelter Moves Closer to Housing Pit Bulls
Chitlens For Sale, Another Stunning Skrlin Master Work
Will Dyster Target Fruscione for Trash Ordinance Violation?
Dyster's Radio Appearance Gives Insights Into Objectives, Accomplishments, as Voters Look to Decide Their Next Mayor
State of the City Gives Mayor Chance to Address Issues
Art of Beer Event at NACC on Fri Feb 27
Only in North Tonawanda: The Fight for Transparency
Roswell Park Physician to Keynote Eighth Annual Black History Celebration at Niagara Falls Memorial
Verel Pushing Lawmakers for Amateur Mixed Martial Arts Commission
Paladino Circulates Email to Michael Moore Penned by Sniper
Islam , A Peaceful Religion?
Ceretto Backs Niagara University's Bid to Join Start-Up NY Program
PETA Director Weighs in, Favors Action on Pit Bulls in Niagara Falls
Letters to the Editor
Pit Bull Letters
City Hall Jokes!
"A Work Of Simple Satire For simple Folks"

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Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
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