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DEC 10 - DEC 17, 2015

City Hall Jokes

DEC 10, 2015

Tired of being criticized for paying his favorite employees high salaries, inexplicable stipends and needless overtime, Mayor Dyster announced his new "reimbursement justification equation." His Honor said he's going to begin paying his top administrators "by the pound." This will give new meaning to the term, "city hall fat cats."
Mayor Dyster didn't kill a deer two weeks ago when he left town to go hunting, but he did manage to conveniently "miss" a city hall finance meeting that went off with a bang as those in attendance shot it out big time
One wonders how Mayor Dyster was unable to make Santa Claus appear a single time for the Holly Trolly yet he was able to make $90 million casino revenue dollars disappear one dollar at a time with no difficulty at all.
City hall dictionary: 72nd Street water line remediation - a $1,000,000 project to fix a frozen water line that all the political hot air in city hall has been unable to thaw for the past two.
This isn't funny. The 2016 "adopted city budget" popped up on the city website some days ago. While no one recalls the budget being passed it appears to have been passed. And this in spite of the fact that the passage occurred before the finance panel weighed in with their recommendations for the 2016 spending plan.
Paul Dyster's favorite song, "The man in the mirror" by Michael Jackson City Council's favorite song, "Dancing in the dark" by Bruce Springsteen The Finance Advisory Panel's favorite song, "What's going on?" by Marvin Gaye
Complete this sentence: The mayor will break ground on the Hamister project when __________ . a) pigs fly b) hell freezes over c) the city budget is balanced d) all of the above







Dyster's Budget Passed With no Oversight by Council, Media, Public
Holly Jolly Trolly Skips City Market; Crying Kids Wait For No Show Santa
Happy News: Niagara Falls is No. 1: Highest Taxed City in Highest Taxed State
Santa's Holly Trolley Visit Goes From HoHoHo To NoNoNo For Hopeful Children
Do it Yourself Christmas Santa Next Year
Reporter Unveils Controversial Plan to Subsidize Train Ridership And Boost Local Economy!
Financial Advisory Panel Misses the Mark; City Does Not Need Budget Director; We Need an Elected Controller
Did Dyster Know of Highland Ave. Grant When He Bought Dalacu Land?
Conservative Party's Holiday Breakfast Attracts Full House
Shmuel Shmueli Says We Lie
The Most Delicious Pizza in the World And Good Entertainment Too
Cult of NXIVM Series Part 4: Raniere's Harem
Local Artist to Be Featured in Major Independent Christmas Album
Governor Announces Brownfield Grants in Niagara Falls and Lockport
Bills Have No Margin for Error
Officers- Arm Yourself; Congress-Declare War On ISLAM! LET GOD SORT THEM OUT
Only in NT - Column is one year old! Thank you, Reporter!
We Disagree: New York Times Got It Wrong on Gun Control
State Expected to Release ECC Audit Soon
News of the weird
City Hall Jokes
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