After the Buffalo Bills thoroughly soiled themselves at Texas Stadium late Sunday afternoon, some fans will undoubtedly spend this week taking the names of Kevin Gilbride, Drew Bledsoe and Gregg Williams in vain.
BillStuff, however, believes the three men most responsible for rendering the Buffalo Bills unwatchable deserve a little credit.
For one thing, by thoroughly removing any hope of seeing the home team score an offensive touchdown, or even come particularly close, Buffalo's unholy trinity has done wonders for conversation amongst Bills fans gathered to watch the game.
The complete lack of excitement generated by either team in Dallas' 10-6 snoozer allowed us to thoroughly discuss varied topics such as the picture quality of the enormous flat-screen TV on which we viewed the game, parenting, winter's rapid approach, workplace dynamics and plans for Thanksgiving.
Gilbride provided an especially conversation-friendly game plan on Sunday. For most of the day, you didn't even have to watch the play to know what play Buffalo would run - poorly. You only needed to know what down it was.
First down -- A low-percentage, downfield throw. Preferably one that required a five- or seven-step drop, allowing the Cowboys' pass rush to get as close to Bledsoe as possible before he flung a pass in the general vicinity of a covered receiver.
Second down - -A run to Travis Henry. Ah, the trickery. Particularly once the pattern had been established, and Dallas knew what was coming. You could almost here middle linebacker Dat Nguyen yelling "Run! Run!"
Third down -- Two options here -- either another selection from the first-down menu, or a relatively quick throw to one sideline or another designed to gain 2 to 4 yards when 10 were required.
Fourth down -- Punt.
Buffalo established the pattern immediately after Antonio Brown's 37-yard return of the opening kickoff started the Bills' opening drive at their own 45-yard line.
But as they proved two weeks ago in Kansas City, no field position is too good to squander. Incomplete pass, Henry run for no gain (with an unsportsmanlike conduct flag on Ruben Brown tacked on), then two throws completed for less than half the yardage needed for a first down.
And to think, it only took Gilbride 14 days -- one field goal per week of preparation -- to come up with this game plan.
You have to admire Gilbride's determination. No matter how few points the Bills score, or how pitiful they look not scoring them, he simply and utterly refuses to adjust in any way.
We fools who lack the Ph.D. in footballology required to perform the jobs filled by geniuses like Gilbride and Williams tend to think the answers are simple. Like maybe leave Sam Gash, perhaps the best pure blocking back of his era, on the field to, um, block for Bledsoe once in a while.
The uninformed might think it would be a good idea to using Gash even in passing situations, since it would seem he'd at least be able to pick up one of the blitzers that inevitably pierce the pocket, giving Bledsoe at least a second or two to throw.
Gilbride, however, clearly knows better. Gash is only to be used when everyone in the stadium, especially the defense, knows that Henry's going to run. This institutional Gashism was particularly evident on one call in the second half, when third-string tight end Ryan Neufeld lined up at fullback in front of Henry. To the surprise of absolutely no one, it was a fake run, followed by another Bledsoe incompletion.
A brief aside here -- play-action passes work best when you're running the ball with some consistency and effectiveness. Even though Henry ended up with 80 yards on 21 carries, but Gilbride scattered his only effective weapon's carries as if they were a precious, finite commodity. Henry carried the ball on consecutive plays twice all afternoon -- once in the first quarter and once late in the third.
Other than that, it was pass-run-pass-punt or pass-pass-pass-punt. The Bills ran 12 times on first down, with just four of those attempts coming after halftime. They threw, or tried to throw, on 14 first downs.
That's not balance. That's idiocy.
Throwing on first down can be quite effective, particularly when your quarterback completes the throw once in a while. Not counting the final possession of the first half, when Dallas softened its blitz a bit and surrendered the underneath stuff, Bledsoe was 2-for-10 for 11 yards on first down, while getting sacked once.
It got worse at the most crucial moments. The highest-paid player in franchise history misfired on his last four first-down passes, including the first play of Buffalo's final three possessions - all which resulted in a punt after three plays.
Dallas wasn't much better -- at one point, the two teams combined for 26 yards and a single first down during the course of seven possessions.
But as dismal as Quincy Carter looked, Bledsoe was worse. And Dallas' quarterback didn't lose any fumbles. Bledsoe coughed it up twice, including the turnover that set up the game's only touchdown.
As horrendous as Gilbride's game plan proved, again, Bledsoe has to hit one of those throws once in a while. As disturbing as his diminishing accuracy may be, his eroding pocket presence is an even worse sign. By the fourth quarter, he looked like he was cringing in the face of the blitz, turning his body away from the rush as he threw off his back foot.
Through it all, Williams stood stoically by as his defense played better than well enough to win and his offensive coordinator threw his quarterback's body and Buffalo's flickering playoff chances into the face of the blitzing Cowboys.
You'd think that Bledsoe, with his health in jeopardy, or Williams, with his job on the line, would sit Gilbride down, grab him by the shirt and explain to him that whatever he's trying to accomplish simply isn't working, and hasn't since the second week of the season.
Of course, you'd also think that the Bills would be a whole lot better than 4-5 at this point in the season. But even if they're not giving us anything good to talk about, at least they're clearing the way for other Sunday-afternoon conversations.
BILLS MVP: That's funny.
You could give it to the defense, if it had forced a single turnover. Antoine Winfield blew a chance to be the hero, and added a huge highlight to his resume come free agency time at the end of the season, when he dropped a sure touchdown in the fourth quarter.
THE OTHER GUYS' MVP: Dallas defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer always seemed to have one more pass rusher going after Bledsoe than the Bills had blockers to protect him. Then again, outsmarting Gilbride is a fairly dubious accomplishment.
PLAYOFF PICTURE: What playoff picture? OK, if the Bills win six of their last seven games, they've got a shot. Feel free to make those weekend-in-January plans that have nothing to do with Bills football now.
STAT OF THE DAY. Carter averaged 3.6 yards per pass attempt. That pathetic figure was still better than Bledsoe's 3.0. The two teams combined to average 3.7 yards on each running attempt. Good thing they kept throwing it.
GRADUAL IMPROVEMENT: The Bills scored zero offensive points in Miami, three against the Jets in New Jersey and three in Kansas City (though the offense's futility indirectly set up Buffalo's safety, accounting for that week's progress). In Dallas, they scored six points. At this rate, they should pile up at least eight points, maybe even nine, on Nov. 30 when they visit the Giants and hit double digits by Dec. 14 in Tennessee.
WING REPORT: La Nova not only got the order right after a mix-up during the Kansas City game, they got the goods delivered 22 minutes after the phone order was placed.
OK, so that means our wings were probably done cooking by the time BS placed the call. But the mediums were nicely spiced, if a little overly saucy, and the Italian wings were a welcome change of pace, though some of their coating was left on the bottom of whatever bin they were in. Still, fast and hot is tough to beat, especially on game day. Grade: B+.
BS FAN OF THE WEEK: Even Cowboys fans didn't have much to cheer, or even talk, about, but Heather's homemade pizza and sumptuous chicken and steak burritos easily earned her top honors.
| Niagara Falls Reporter | www.niagarafallsreporter.com | November 11 2003 |