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BILLSTUFF: BUFFALO NEARS PIGSKIN PERFECTION

By David Staba

Nine innings without allowing a base runner qualifies as a perfect game in baseball.

Football has no equivalent designation, but Buffalo's 31-0 pasting of the New England Patriots on Sunday came pretty close.

The Bills' biggest -- in terms of profile and salary -- offseason acquisition stuffed the first Patriots drive with a third-down stop and snuffed two more with perfectly timed interceptions. Their biggest -- in terms of poundage -- new hire turned a big lead into an insurmountable one with a borderline amazing display of body control.

Then Buffalo's most recent pickup sent a hysterical crowd at Ralph Wilson Stadium into full-blown delirium with a quarterback sack that capped what amounted to a first-half knockout. And we haven't even mentioned Drew Bledsoe.

"Looks like we've finally got a defense," said a rather amazed-sounding fan staring at a TV over the bar at Players, BillStuff's opening-day vantage point.

Yes, you do.

Led by their three marquee free agents -- Takeo Spikes, Sam Adams and Lawyer Milloy, Buffalo completely reversed their two most embarrassing performances of 2002.

That this wouldn't be a third edition of last season's mirror-image losses to New England became obvious five minutes into the game, after Bledsoe connected with another new teammate, wide receiver Bobby Shaw, on a pair of third-down connections that keyed a nine-play, 80-yard drive.

After Spikes sniffed out a screen pass not unlike the ones that helped the Patriots disembowel the Bills in their two meetings last year, a 15-play, 90-yard march made it 14-0.

The overwhelming nature of Buffalo's early success was apparently too much for some.

"They're too pass-happy," Bruce scolded after a first-down Bledsoe pass fell incomplete on the Bills' third drive. "They've got to run more."

A fickle lot, those Bills fans.

But any petty gripes went into submission -- for Sunday, at least -- moments later.

Playing another screen pass as if he had been in New England's offensive meetings all week, defensive tackle Sam Adams snatched Brady's flip out of the air and thundered toward the sideline. Defying the laws of gravity and momentum, the allegedly 330-pound Adams somehow managed to cut back at full speed without suffering complete disintegration of a knee or ankle, making it to the end zone without needing to stop for Gatorade, oxygen or a snack. In building a 21-0 lead and keeping their cleats on the Patriots' throats the rest of the way, the Bills accomplished something nearly as rare as a shutout. They followed the script penned by the coaching staff and drummed into their heads through dozens of spring and summer practices almost flawlessly.

They stuck with the running game, even though Travis Henry didn't start ripping off large chunks of yardage until the second half, when they controlled the line of scrimmage and the clock.

Bledsoe played ball-control without being boring, lacing strikes to Eric Moulds and Shaw on the first two touchdown drives.

Even the game's final play couldn't have been much more ideal.

With 18 seconds left, an end-zone pass interference penalty on the Coy "I'd better learn to play free safety" Wire put the Patriots a yard away from ruining Buffalo's first shutout this century.

After an incomplete pass, former Buffalo No. 1 draft pick Antowain Smith, who has made something of a career out of ripping apart his old teammates, slashed off the left side before getting buried just short of the goal line.

"(Expletive deleted) you, Antowain," shouted one of the few patrons still paying attention.

BILLS MVP: A lot of contenders here, but it's tough not to go with Spikes.

Besides the picks, he was the driving force on a defense that not only kept New England from scoring but kept the Patriots' yardage total in negative numbers for most of the first half. It should be a very long time before anybody says he's overpaid.

THE OTHER GUYS' MVP: No Patriot played well enough to qualify for this, but supposed genius Bill Belichick was easily most responsible for his team's lifeless performance.

Apparently, cutting a team captain loved and respected by his teammates wasn't such a great idea, after all.

Trying to pull off the exact same game plan for the third straight time didn't work out so well, either.

FARTHEST TRAVELED AWARD: Marty and Tom, a father and son from Syracuse, waiting to check in to their hotel, found the lounge closed there and at two other inns.

They finally found Players in time to catch Adams' jaunt and score some complimentary pizza and wings. Most important, they bought BillStuff wing consultant Miguel Rodriguez a beer.

TRIVIAL QUIBBLES: There was Henry's weekly fumble, but he easily compensated for it with two scores, 86 yards rushing and three catches.

Stupid penalties and a bad snap nearly stopped Buffalo's second touchdown drive, but an even dumber flag on the Pats kept it alive.

Then there were the wasps. Not just on Niagara Street, but all over Western New York all weekend. BS took one on the collarbone while catching a breath on the patio during the second quarter, but sometimes in football, you've got to give blood.

Or at least a little swelling.

WING REPORT: Pungent hots and flavorful Cajuns, for a change of pace. Best of all, they were free. A strong B.

PICKS UPDATE: BS went 10-5 overall, 9-6 against the spread. Check out next week's picks Thursday at www.niagarafallsreporter.com.

BS FAN OF THE WEEK: Mark was easily the most vocal fan in the place, even if he was rooting for Pittsburgh.

"I think we might see you in the playoffs," he said as his Steelers completed a 34-15 slamming of the Baltimore Ravens.


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David Staba is the sports editor of the Niagara Falls Reporter. He welcomes email at dstaba13@aol.com.

Niagara Falls Reporter www.niagarafallsreporter.com September 9 2003