City Hall Jokes

Council candidate Alicia Laible unveiled her campaign theme last week: “Vote for me because I have no connection, none, zero, nada, none at all, seriously, honestly, from the bottom of my heart, to Mayor Paul Dyster!”

Well, that’s simple enough. A resident was recently heard saying, “There’s nothing wrong with the Dyster administration that a little honesty, integrity, transparency, decency and responsibility can’t fix.”

“Honk if you’ve had enough of Dyster!”

Gus the Goose

Go figure. Paul Dyster would have us believe that he brought peace to the world by negotiating with the Soviet Union and yet he can’t bring running water to 72nd Street in the winter!

Mayor Dyster rolled out his latest reelection slogan: “Vote Dyster! He’ll try to get it right this time.”

“Chinese arithmetic, Egyptian hieroglyphics and the World War II Enigma Code are easier to figure out,” said an accountant from the NYS Comptroller’s office regarding the Dyster administration’s financial records.

Answer: When the cows come home.

Question: When will Charles Walker file his campaign finance records?

Answer: Three men and a baby.

Question: What do they call it when the mayor and council majority of Charles Walker, Andrew Touma and Kristen Grandinetti get together?

“For the life of me I just can’t figure out how those tiny crickets can hold that big wooden bat.” Donna Owens mumbling to herself at city hall.