Niagara Falls Reporter
Home | Archive/Search
SEP 01 - SEP 08, 2015

City Hall Jokes

SEP 01, 2015

Paul Dyster walks into a bar with a dozen friends. He turns around, sees no one, and exclaims, “Where’d you all go? You were here in 2011!”

Life imitates art at city hall!
“Badges! We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!”
The Bandit in the classic film, “Treasure of the Sierra Madre”
“Bids! We don’t need no stinkin’ public bids!”
Seth Piccirillo in conversation with the Tony Hawk Foundation

Question: How many campaign workers does it take to change a light bulb at Dyster re-election headquarters?

Answer: Three. One to study the need, one to find a friendly sole-source provider, and one to drive to Buffalo to retrieve the light bulb.

Political dictionary

Hypocrisy - Saying one thing and doing another. Example: Councilman Touma campaigning against the $9,700 health insurance opt-out and then taking the $9,700 health insurance opt-out as soon as he was eligible for the costly perk.

The mayor keeps “evolving” on the frozen water pipes. Dyster denied the problem before he admitted it existed. He hid the engineer’s report before he said it was real. He pooh-poohed the report before he admitted it was accurate. He then worked for a solution to the problem that supposedly never existed based upon an engineer’s report that was allegedly full of nonsense before he finally undertook a “solution” to a situation that he originally claimed was a figment of the imagination of the 72nd Street residents from the outset.

Quiz: part one

When you hear the phrase “It stinks to high hell” you think of:
a) The waste water treatment plant
b) City hall politics
c) The way Dyster treats the 72nd Street residents
d) All of the above

Isn’t it ironic? While Paul Dyster has done nothing to make the frozen lives of the 72nd Street residents comfortable he happily spent $150,000 of taxpayer funds to keep penguins in frozen comfort at the Aquarium.

How are the winter lives of the 72nd Street residents similar to the lives of New Orleans residents after Hurricane Katrina? They both required large quantities of bottled water to survive.

Question: What film title captures the essence of both Paul Dyster’s political career and the lives of the residents on 72nd Street?

Answer: The 2011 comedy, “Thin Ice,” starring Greg Kinnear.

Quiz: part two

How did the water pipes in LaSalle freeze?
a) The ice fairies did it
b) The pipes weren’t buried below the frost line
c) Global warming and solar storms
d) Martians came in the middle of the night, abducted the city engineering staff, and rewrote the road design plans







No Plea Negotiations or Settlement Talks in Kane Case, Source Confirms
Touma Calls for Special Meeting to Fund the Frozen Pipe Fix on 72nd Street
Wasting Taxpayer Cash to Fight Matteo Anello Verdict, is Very ‘Appealing’ to Mayor Dyster
Dyster’s Shameful Performance on 72nd Street He Denied it Before he Admitted it, he Hid it Before he Found it, And Passed the Buck Before he Took up the Cause...
72nd Street Residents’ Suffering Has Been Lost in the Dyster Shuffle
Mendacity and Duplicity as Dyster’s Water Boys Attempt Run to the Rescue
Stewart III Parrots Forster Line On 72nd Street Water Main Freeze
City Dems Expect Leaders To Work Together
Anderson’s Council Run Offers Voters Chance to Reelect a Good Honest Man!
Choolokian Supporters Rally at Local #91
Hastings to Sell Main Street Properties, Reporter has Learned
Staying at the Grand Hamister Hotel
Lewiston: Reiter Throws Support Behind Rose for Highway Super, But Why?
Cuomo's 2015 State Energy Plan More of the Same, Except Even More Local Hydropower Going to NYC
Roundup Part 2 Francine DelMonte Returns; a Host of Town and Country Races Reviewed
Kane Cooperating in Rape Probe, Sources Say
Lewiston’s Riverwalk Problems Continue Like Bad Dream
In Wheatfield, BSing About Manure
Lewiston: The Poor Practice of Only Relying on Past Practice
Accardo: Abolish ‘Dyster Double-Dip’ Insurance Subsidy For Mayoral Appointees, Council Members
Thoughts on the Dyster Campaign Flyer
Only in NT: We Want our City Back!
Szwedo Pushing Hard in GOP Primary for Mayor
Some Dyster Directed Disasters You May Have Forgotten About
Finger Pointing all Around as Welfare Rent Program Becomes Silly Season Fare
The FBI and Hillary “Rotten” Clinton
Big Daddy Dyster takes Mendacity, Duplicity to Entirely New Level Here
Ten More Reasons to Vote “Anybody But Dyster” in 2015
City Hall Jokes

Contact Info

©2014 The Niagara Falls Reporter Inc.
POB 3083, Niagara Falls, N.Y. 14304
Phone: (716) 284-5595

Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
Senior Editor: Tony Farina