City Hall Jokes

Heard near the city hall second floor stairwell - not many days after the Mayor participated in the Art of Beer Fundraiser for the NACC and held his own fundraiser, "The Mayor's Blues and Brews Celebration":

First person: "I hear the mayor isn't drinking anymore."

Second person: "I hear he isn't drinking any less."

How is Dyster's eight year reign of error like the average city street? They're both incredibly rough rides that never seem to end.

"Maybe the mayor's race will distract everyone from the fact that I'm ten years behind in my campaign finance reports." (A thought bubble above Charlie Walker'shead.)

This is no joke: Chairman Touma supports paying local attorney Robert Restaino to study the city charter. We'd like to give the Chairman two important charter observations at no cost: the mayor violated the charter by withholding the budget for 37 days and the mayor continues to violate the charter every day by refusing to hire a city engineer. Is Mr. Touma going to file an Article 78 against his favorite mayor to set things right?

"Now I know how many pot holes it takes to fill Niagara Falls City Hall!"

Recently discovered alternative lyrics to the Beatles masterpiece, A Day In The Life.

The Niagara Falls Air Base received dozens of calls last week when a UFD - unidentified floating deficit - was seen hovering above city hall.

For those Dyster fans that complain about the Reporter joke page we offer three seconds of Dyster-free humor.......we now resume our usual jokes.

The Local 9 Ironworkers erection - of what will be a Tony Roma's Steakhouse and a gaming arcade on Rainbow Blvd - had Mayor Dyster very excited on his Facebook page. It's to be expected. Every time he runs for reelection he publicly declares his fondness for Trades Union men.

Call the doctor, the taxpayers need a cure! He's been chairman for only three months and already Andy Touma has been fatally bitten by the Dyster Spending Bug. The sophomore politico pushed for the city to borrow $3.1 million for the over-budget ice pavilion project, supported the spending of $1.5 million per year to subsidize the state agency USA Niagara, insisted on paying thousands in taxpayer cash to study the city charter, and now desperately wants to spend yet another $47,000 to hire seasonal SWEET trash inspectors that were supposed to be one-time hires in 2014! Take two aspirins Andy and call an accountant in the morning.

How are Sasquatch, a unicorn and a balanced Dyster budget alike? None of them have ever been spotted in Niagara Falls.