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JULY 07 - JULY 15, 2015

City Hall Jokes

JULY 7, 2015

Dyster gifting the school district with $100,000 of taxpayer money proves one thing. The mayor is much better at freezing homeowner water pipes than freezing his own budget.

Some people refer to it as the “sweaty palm syndrome.” It’s when city department heads and political appointees start thinking about stepping away from a wounded mayor in order to slide over to who they hope will be the next mayor. We prefer to call it the “rats jumping ship syndrome.” Whatever you call it we understand it’s alive and well at city hall.

While it’s true that people passing the mayor’s nominating petitions are routinely being met with resistance, there’s no truth (at least we don’t think so) to the rumor that Kristen Grandinetti was seen circulating Dyster’s petition while wearing a fake beard (well, we think it was fake).

After the Reporter broke the story about Charles Walker failing to pay his taxes it’s now fair to say that there’s three inescapable truths in life: death, taxes and Charles Walker’s inability to pay taxes.

Paul Dyster’s SWEET team car was spotted on Cayuga Island on June 19, looking for trash code violators on the neat, spotless, high-tax paying island. The joke is that the only thing violating the city code in the Cayuga Island neighborhood on June 19 was Jayne Park where the grass was 15 inches tall.

Dyster’s City Democratic Committee is having serious trouble gathering enough petition signatures for His Honor. It’s strange how frozen water lines, $89 million in wasted casino revenue, a mysterious $7.6 million deficit, a $50 million courthouse, department head salaries in excess of $100,000, millions of dollars for consultants and endless potholes can damage a politician’s reputation.

Type casting! Because Mayor Dyster tried and failed to end the music festival promotion career of Rick Crogan, we understand that the mayor is now being considered for the role of the Devil in Don McLeans’s legendary rock anthem, “American Pie.” Remember, Mr. Mayor, “Fire is the Devil’s only friend.” 

Hold onto your hats. We are told that Donna Owens is hard at work developing Mayor Dyster’s parking plan. Considering how she did with the trash plan there’s a good chance we’ll end up with oversized green parking spaces covered in black trash bags.

 Mayor Dyster gave us a canoe launch, a cricket field, a $50 million courthouse, a $13 million ice pavilion renovation and a $44 million train station. It almost makes you forget that he also gave us a $65 million debt, a $7.6 million deficit, a zero balance in the $89 million casino account and a tax increase!

Six weeks ago the Reporter joked about how the 2016 budget drama was going to soon unfold. Dyster recently announced the unexpected $7.6 million deficit and then the council and mayor declared a surprise spending freeze. Next, we’ll see the third act as the controller announces the “drastic state of city finances.” The Reporter is going to award an Oscar for “Best city hall performance in the creation of a fiscal crisis” after the 2016 budget closes in November.






Grandinetti Tells Falls' Residents on Facebook, If You Don't Like it Here "Move, You Are Not a Tree"
Accardo to State Comptroller: City is Rapidly Approaching Insolvency, Request State Audit, Will Hold Press Conference
Accardo Call for Truth-in-Budgeting From Falls Mayor
Says Cataract City is on the verge of insolvency
Walker Forgot a Few Details in Recent Interview About His Unpaid Property Taxes
Skrlin Hoists Sign Focused on "Missing Money" Mentioned in City Audit by State Comptroller
Poor Planning or Vandalism at Root of Destruction of Wallenda Monument at State Park?
Is Skrlin's Canvas a Sign or Master Artwork
Council Candidate Smith Will Answer Tough Questions
Early Morning Fog Befuddles Dyster’s
Grasp of Railroad Station Time, Budget
Sweet of Brooke to be Dyster’s Campaign Photographer

Blame Game Over Moody Downgrade Rising
Moody Downgrades Lewiston - But Who's Fault Is It?
Ceretto: 2015 Legislative Session,
Making State Govt Work For You Again
Games People Play
Taxpayers Can’t See Clearly Now, or Ever,
As Dyster Defies Transparency
Scott Runs in Crowded Race; Could Tip the Majority on City Council to School Teachers
Reporter Asks Scott for More Than Platitudes
Scott Seeks to Connect with City Voters Through Modern Methods
DiPaolo’s, Lombardo’s to Mark Anniversaries at Italian Festival
Many Await Results of State Audit of ECC
Only in NT: Oliver Street Transformation
Stagnant in North Tonawanda
Niagara Falls 5K Experience Back on Top Council Chair Lights Up Downtown Course
Affirmative Action, Free Housing, Free Lunch, Free Everything, Yes, We Have No More to Give
Sabres, Bills Getting Plenty of Hype From Local Media
Series to Chronicle Life of FBI Special Agent J. Gary DiLaura
Shame on You
Skrlin Flies Confederate Flag in honor/defiance of Obama
Letters to the Editor
City Hall Jokes
Deer spotted in back yard near Pine Ave.

Contact Info

©2014 The Niagara Falls Reporter Inc.
POB 3083, Niagara Falls, N.Y. 14304
Phone: (716) 284-5595

Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
Senior Editor: Tony Farina