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JUNE 16 - JUNE 24, 2015

City Hall Jokes

JUNE 16, 2015

Rumor has it that the mayor, increasingly afraid of losing the upcoming election, is going to cancel the election and replace it with a beer chugging contest. If it's a beer drinking contest instead of an election Dyster will stay in office forever.

Give him the "sheer nerve award." After spending $89 million in casino revenue and running up a $7.5 million deficit, Mayor Dyster said he's hoping the city finance advisory panel - a voluntary panel forbidden from reviewing critical city finance data - will be able to fix the deficit.

Political dictionary
: a mysterious number that can go from zero to millions of dollars and back again during the course of a council meeting, press conference or mayoral campaign with absolutely no explanation.
City Hall: a magical building that is oblivious and immune to the economic reality surrounding it.

What was said: The Buffalo News reported in a June 8 story on the city's $7.5 million deficit that "Touma said he was looking forward to the recommendations coming from the Council appointed financial advisory panel made up of city residents and empanelled to offer suggestions to lawmakers on fiscal matters."
What was meant: "I appointed the finance panel to take the fall. They're giving me total plausible deniability."

Paul Dyster and Nick Melson walk into a bar. Melson turns to the bartender and yells, "Free drinks for all the hippie faggots in this dump!"

County government insiders say the NYS Board of Elections is demanding that Charles Walker immediately clear up his long overdue campaign finance reports.

Mr. Walker, whose go-to reply for every political question or controversy over his 18-year council career has been, "I'll have to look into that" told the press with regards to the NYS Board of Elections demand, "I'll have to look into that."

Those in the know are saying that city controller Maria Brown is getting a new job title: "The Tail That Wags the Dog." There's no word as to whether the new title comes with another raise or additional stipend.

We're taking bets.

Now that the Hamister project is "scheduled to break ground by July 31, residents are being given multiple choices as to how it will play out:

A) Ground will be broken this summer, two years late.

B) An as yet "unexpected snag" will suddenly arise, delaying the groundbreaking past the primary election.

C) Martians will land on the Hamister parking lot, purchase a season parking pass, and throw the development deal into global chaos. 

Charles Walker's solution to the $7.5 million deficit created by the Dyster administration and council majority is to raise taxes through property reassessment.

Typical "out of the taxpayers' pocket" thinking from the 18-year councilman who has refused to file campaign finance reports and will receive lifetime health insurance when he leaves office.

Critical thinking corner: Why has the Dyster administration refused to post online: the Bonadio audit regarding the city's deficit; the 2013 NYS Comptroller's audit of city government; the casino revenue interest account; the city's response to the NYS Comptroller's 2013 audit; and, the location of the unaccounted for "conservatively estimated $1 to $1.4 million" taxpayer dollars?





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City Hall Jokes

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Phone: (716) 284-5595

Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
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