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JULY 14 - JULY 24, 2015

City Hall Jokes

JULY 14, 2015

A Dyster department head was recently spotted wearing a tee shirt reading: “We wasted $89,000,000 of casino cash and all I got was this lousy tee shirt!”

$50 million courthouse failed to spur Main Street rebirth. Check.
$89 million in casino cash spent with nothing to show for it. Check.
$44 million senseless train station already $1 million over budget. Check
Frozen water pipes for residents and no fix in sight. Check.
Return Dyster to office. No!

The wife is always last to know. We understand that Paul Dyster was shocked to learn that his “loyal incumbent Democrat office holders” had sneakily stopped carrying his election petitions three weeks ago. Dyster’s coattails from 2011 have become a noose around Democratic candidate necks for 2015.

Ask the man who owns one. We hear that legendary magician David Copperfield phoned Mayor Dyster last week. He told the mayor, “I’ve made an elephant and an army tank disappear in front of a live audience, but even I couldn’t make $89 million vanish into thin air!”

John Accardo hit a Dyster nerve during a July 8 press conference as he accused the mayor of mismanaging the city budget. Dyster lashed out blaming Accardo for the city’s financial problems from 20 years ago. His Honor stopped short of blaming Accardo for the collapse of the Greece economy.

Dyster talk versus straight talk:
Dyster talk: “I’m building a $44 million train station that will employ some union workers. I’m sure you want people to have jobs!”

Straight talk: “It’s a $44 million needless train station not a government jobs program. The taxpayers can’t afford to fund the Paul Dyster employment agency!”

There’s no truth to the rumor that Dyster’s petition passers, in a last minute act of desperation, were telling LaSalle residents “Sign the damn petition or we’ll freeze your water pipes!”

City hall question of the week, circle the one you believe will happen first:
A) Solar City will locate in Niagara Falls
B) General Motors will build an engine plant in Niagara Falls
C) Martians will invade Niagara Falls
D) They all have the same chance of occurring

Political dictionary:
Ice Pavilion - a frozen hole in the ground that Paul Dyster has poured 13 million taxpayer dollars into.





Dyster Election Year Plan for ‘Business Park’ May Cost City Taxpayers More Than $1 Million
Szwedo Makes Point on Taxes! Stands up to Bullying at City Hall
Number One in Crime and Danger, Niagara Falls Residents Need Relief, and Change of Direction
No Contracts With Amtrak, Tour Companies To Occupy, Use New Train Station Here
Career Criminal, Rapist Undone By Overwhelming Stupidity Here
LaSalle Waterfront Park a Place Where Fingers Can be Bitten Off
WNYMuslims participates in ‘Kids 4 Kids’ Toy Drive
State Comptroller Found There’s no Accounting for Dyster Fiscal Mysteries
We Must Bring the City Back from the Edge of Insolvency
Temporary Maid of the Mist Shutdown Does Not Cause End of World, Life As We Know It.
Herbal Agriculture Inks Deal With Colorado
Mott’s the problem with Jayne Park grass maintenance Mott is going on with Jayne Park grass maintenance? Mott’s wrong with Jayne Park maintenance? Mott’s it all about Mayor Dyster?
Accardo Makes Waves at Steps of City Hall
Accardo, Dyster Take Different Approaches To Running Small Family Business Here
Challenges to Dyster, Pascoal Petitions Filed on Behalf of Choolokian, Szwedo
Error by Bomb Sniffing Dog Points Up Problematic Nature of Searches
Only in NT: Oliver Street Transformation Stagnant in North Tonawanda
Mark Levin Sounds “Death Panel” Alarm on Federal “End of Life” Consults! ‘I Am Becoming Increasingly Radicalized For Liberty’
Speaking Out Against the SAFE Act
Kristen Grandinetti Stands for Something So Does Planned Parenthood
Niagara Falls to Launch African American Male Wellness Walk Dr. Underwood Named Honorary Chairman
'A Hope and a Prayer From the Swamp' Sung to the tune of "she'll be comin' round the mountain"
Erie County Water Authority Is Haven for Politically Connected
Local Historian Gromosiak Honored with Park Plaque
City Hall Jokes

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Phone: (716) 284-5595

Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
Senior Editor: Tony Farina