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JAN 27 - FEB 03, 2015

City Hall Jokes!

January 27, 2015

Looks like chairman Touma is going to double-down on his resolution seeking shortened public speaking at council meetings. He told the press, "If Tom Brady can take two pounds of air out of a football I can take two minutes out of speaker time."

City residents are so upset at the resolution limiting public speaking that they're holding a meeting at city hall to recall councilman Touma. Those in attendance will be allowed to talk as long as they want.

Council members Touma, Walker and Grandinetti walk into a bar and the bartender says, "You got three minutes to finish your drinks and get out of here!"

Kristen Grandinetti said, "I wouldn't have run for council if I knew I had to listen to the residents for more than three minutes!"

There's some truth to the rumor that Mayor Dyster and councilman Touma are going to require all public speakers to have a PhD.

Back to the drawing board: City hall insiders say the Dyster re-election campaign has released its 2015 slogan: "He raised your taxes, he trashed your garbage, he spent all your casino money. Vote DYSTER!"

Just as we feared: Mayor Dyster responded to the reports of falling casino revenue, saying, "I have my very best people working on the problem."

Chairman Touma is moving on from trying to stop speakers from talking. He's now writing a resolution to stop city employees from running in the hall.

The council created a civilian panel to review the city's financial activity. Oh boy, now the city government can legitimize their total lack of fiscal integrity by appointing friends of the administration to double check the books.

Mr. Touma recently released a written survey seeking the opinion of residents, which seems odd since he tried to limit the residents' speaking time at meetings…the chairman said, "I want to know what the residents are thinking, that doesn't mean I have to waste my time listening to them."

What they're reading at city hall:

The Sound and the Fury

A Confederacy of Dunces

The Ya-Ya Sisterhood

For Whom the Bell Tolls

The Joy of Sex





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