Niagara Falls Reporter
Home | Archive / Search
FEB 17 - FEB 24, 2015

Art of Beer Jokes

February 17, 2015

This coming week Mayor Paul Dyster, and the Niagara Arts and Cultural Center (NACC) are holding their annual Art of Beer Fund Raiser.

The Mayor, who is a certified National Beer Judge and owns his own home beer brewing supply store, might be said to be a true authority on the art of making excellent, drinkable beer.

Helpful to the environment, the mayor's art is fully recyclable.

The mayor's slogan for his art program: "The only thing wasted is you."

The mayor's idea of micro managing: micro brewing.

When art lovers enjoy art, they undergo an aesthetic experience that rivets the mind and enhances the human condition. When they enjoy the mayor's art, they lose their minds and enhance the urinal.

The Gin Mill: the place where the mayor's starving artists meet to create their best works.

The mayor's art is so fickle, the artists can't remember which piece of art they liked best.

The mayor has invented a new crime: DWA (driving while artistic).

The mayor's art collection is in his fridge.

The mayor's art is so moving that art lovers often slur their words and fall down in joy.

According to the mayor, art should not only be seen and admired, it should be ingested and expelled.

When the mayor thinks of art, he does not think of Picasso or Monet, he thinks of Budweiser and Moonshine.

Reporter: What's artistic about being sober?

Mayor: Nothing.

The Mayor at the Art of Beer: "I love you so much, I could never live without you." Mrs. Dyster: "Is that you or the beer talking?" Mayor: "It's me talking to the beer."

The Mayor's 'art' is not the answer... But it does make you forget the question.

Remember, after you leave the mayor's art event, do not text while driving, you might spill your beer.

Last year, Mayor Dyster was enjoying a little too much art, so he had to take a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but he never drove a bus before.

After leaving the Art of Beer, the Mayor was stumbling down Pine Ave with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop stopped him and said, "Mr. Mayor, I better take you home, sir. You're drunk" The Mayor replied, "Ociffer, are you sure?" "

You're drunk, your Honor, I'm sure," said the cop.

"What a relief," said the Mayor said, "I thought I was a cripple."

What rhymes with Dyster? Beermeister of course!

At the end of the day, Mayor Dyster brings new meaning to the phrase: "artsy-fartsy."





Ex-Marine Wins $7.2 M Landmark Injury Case in Niagara County
Choolokian Will Run for Mayor Szwedo to Challenge Accardo
Choolokian Will Run Grassroots Campaign Against Heavily Funded Dyster A busy election season is expected
The Political Realities of Pot With Maziarz Gone, Lewiston Greenhouse Faces Challenges to Securing Medical Marijuana License
Szwedo Reveals Platform, Campaign Strategy as the "People's Mayor"
County Will Fight Discrimination Claims by Female Prosecutor
A Voters Guide: Choolokian and Dyster Compared - Issue By Issue - 4 page story
Council Curiously Un-curious About Everything they Should Want to Know
Only in North Tonawanda
Historian Trying to Pin Down NT Urban Legend Oliver Street Said to Have Had the Most Bars
In His Own Words: Choolokian Explains His Decision to Run For Mayor
None Dare Call It Treason!
Dr. Dyster, or How I Learned to Stop Complaining and Love the Moses Parkway
Poloncarz has Change of Heart on Choice of Architect for STEM Project at ECC North
Proposed Erie County Law Would Set Term Limits
Celebrity Chefs to Face Off for Healthy Hearts
Art of Beer Jokes

Contact Info

©2014 The Niagara Falls Reporter Inc.
POB 3083, Niagara Falls, N.Y. 14304
Phone: (716) 284-5595

Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
Senior Editor: Tony Farina