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APR 21 - APR 28, 2015

City Hall Jokes

April 21, 2015

Mayor Dyster recently gave the Aquarium penguins $150,000 in casino cash. Now the blow fish feel slighted and the city pit bulls are ticked off.

Donna Owens has been assigned by the mayor to study the feasibility of the city taking over the water authority. We're sorry to say that this is no joke, it's true.

Good news bad news. The good news is the city council is considering taking control of water and sewer. The bad news is it gives Paul Dyster one more city department to mismanage.

Political dictionary

Consultant: a person who borrows your watch to tell you what time it is. In Niagara Falls the consultant also keeps the watch.

When Mayor Dyster appeared on the Anello show last month he said, over an accidentally open microphone, that he feared "looking like I'm fiddling while Rome burns."Strangely enough he's been fiddling while NORAMPAC burns. Twice.

Dyster is really pumped up about the completion of the train station next year. He can't wait to cut the ribbon and throw out the first vagrant on opening day.

Courthouse $50,000,000, Train station $45,000,000, Ice pavilion $13,000,000, Trash totes $2,600,000. A government boondoggle doesn't buy what it used to.

Political dictionary

Transparency: allowing the voter to see how city government operates. The two rules of transparency are 1) it's always supported before the election, and 2) it's always discarded after the election.

Survey says. Andy Touma's city government survey revealed that residents are upset with snow plowing, road conditions, casino cash spending, their elected representatives, and rising crime. Duh!

Touma's next survey hopes to prove that the sky is blue and water is wet.





Albany Controlled Water Board to Sue City Using Buffalo-Based Lawyers City to retaliate by using own Buffalo lawyers to fight back!
The Nightmare on 72nd Street: Dyster, Drof, Janese to Blame?
Dyster's Frankenstein Creation Rises Up Against Him in Supreme Court!
Brochey Narrows His Options, But Still May Decide to Not Run
A True Armenian, Choolokian Delivers Message of Hope
All Aboard for the Increased Government Magical Government Tour
'2015 City Council Survey and Action Plan' Says: It's Time for a New Mayor!
Council Survey Delivers Message But Will Present Administration Listen
Goose Speaks Out on Dyster's Jayne Park Plan
Greenway Project: Dyster Doing Bang-Up Job of Fixing Things That Aren't Broke
Separating Fact from Fiction on Destino and Sandonato and City and County IT jobs
Poloncarz, Walter Both Face Growing Crisis at ECC
ECC Board Chairman Hits County Subsidy; Tuition Hike Likely
Accountability, It's There If You Want It Your Voice, Your Choice, Your Future.
Only in NT: Elected/Appointed Officials Are There to Serve All of Us
Moxham Announces Candidacy for Niagara County Local businesswoman to focus on increasing access and better service
This Week in Stupid Crime
Unprecedented Three Health System Collaboration To Address Cardiac Care Disparity in Niagara
City Hall Jokes
The Challenge of Being a Caregiver

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©2014 The Niagara Falls Reporter Inc.
POB 3083, Niagara Falls, N.Y. 14304
Phone: (716) 284-5595

Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
Senior Editor: Tony Farina