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May 13 - May 21, 2014

This Week in Stupid Crime!

By Mike Hudson

May 13, 2014

Good Samaritan robbed

A man driving in the 2200 block of Mackenna Ave.  at around 3 a.m. Thursday stopped his car after being flagged down by a 55-year-old blonde, police said.

 This lapse in judgment was further compounded when he got out of his car after she told him her Dodge Charger, parked nearby, needed a jump.

 That's when he was jumped by two black males, 30 to 40 years old. One was wearing a hoodie, the victim said, while the other, miraculously, was not.

 One of the men pulled out a sharp and pointy knife and told the victim to give him everything he had, which turned out not to be much. A wallet containing $12 was discarded after the cash was withdrawn and, curiously, even though the bandits made off with the victim's key ring, they left his jalopy and fled the scene on foot.

 The victim said he would "definitely" be able to identify the female suspect in the case, though he said he didn't get a good look at the faces of the male suspects.

Suspect snatches steaks

John Leonard Nowak, 45 and unemployed, of 442 23rd Street, has a rose tattooed on his right shoulder and a rising sun inked on his back. Last week he found himself facing a bit of a dilemma. You see, he'd invited seven of his closest friends over for a delicious steak dinner but, being unemployed and all, found that he couldn't afford the meat.

But that didn't stop Nowak. He'd seen that Clint Eastwood movie about the 1983 invasion of the tiny Caribbean island of Grenada by an overwhelmingly superior force of American soldiers and took the picture's motto to heart.

"Improvise, adapt and overcome!" Nowak said to himself, and he put on a jacket and headed over to Tops Friendly Market on Portage Road.

 Stealthily, he headed to the meat department and picked out seven choice steaks, stuffing them into his jacket and then walking out of the store without so much as a how do you do.

 He might have gotten away with it. One of his friends probably could have stolen some beer someplace and they'd have had one heck of a party. But it was not to be.

You see, Ronald R. Pinke, the asset protection specialist at Tops, is a man who takes his job seriously. And when he saw Nowak pass all points of purchase without rendering payment for the choice cuts of beef, Pinke sprang into action.

He stopped Nowak in the exterior vestibule area and asked him to come to the store's security office. Nowak knew better than to run. One look at Pinke was all he needed to know the asset protection specialist meant business. Meekly, he surrendered.

 The cops were called and the steaks, valued at $98.17, were returned to the meat cooler. Nowak was transported without incident to the Public Safety Building on North Main Street and booked on charges of petty theft.

 The dinner party Nowak had so carefully planned had to be canceled, and what might have been a fun evening on 23rd St. turned instead into a pity party for one unemployed Niagara Falls man now facing a court date.

Damning Evidence

Ladies, the next time you go to the liquor store in order to heist some cheap tequila from off the shelf, for gosh sakes just make sure you don't leave your welfare card at the scene to be used as evidence against you later.

 That's exactly what happened one evening last week at the Supermarket of Wines and Liquors, Chris Castellani's veritable citadel of spirits, conveniently located at the intersection of Niagara Falls Boulevard and Military Road in a part of town that at least maintains some semblance of prosperity.

Two young females, Dionna Nicole Smith, 22, and Jennifer Smith, both of Rochester, combined to steal six bottles of Patron tequila, valued at $130, each of them stuffing three bottles into those oversize purses the young female shoplifters all carry these days.

 A store employee saw the whole thing on one of the security cameras in the office and went out and nabbed the two lovelies in the parking lot.

 Dionna Nicole Smith gave up without a fight but Jennifer Smith bolted from the scene and fled in a grey Nissan. The store employee got the license number but, more importantly, he noticed that the woman who had gotten away dropped her purse in the struggle. Although there was no driver's license, there was a welfare card to positively identify the suspect.

 A lot of people on welfare just use their cards to buy food from disreputable Chinese restaurants and then are paid in cash for a portion of the food's value, which they then use to actually buy booze and dope.

Had the Smith girls had the common sense God gave a turnip, they probably would have used this old dodge themselves, but they didn't, and the result was yet another stupid crime in Niagara Falls.

Bicyclist, motorist fall out

Over in France, we're told, grown men ride bicycles through the streets as though it were a normal means of transportation, going off to the store to buy those big, skinny loaves of bread and then stopping off on the way home at some small café for an aperitif of some sort.

 But this is America, Buster, and around here we drive cars. Spy a guy on a bicycle in Niagara Falls and you know it's either one of those elite, helmet wearing out-of-towners looking for Lewiston or some loser who lost his license to a DUI conviction.

Police were called to the 8400 block of Niagara Falls Blvd. following a report of a possible automobile-bicycle accident.

The bicyclist told officers he attempted to pass a car that was stopped in the bicycle lane and, when he attempted to pass it, he fell off his bike.

An argument with the driver of the car ensued after the bicyclist saw the motorist laughing at him and some slapping and punching took place, although neither combatant possessed enough strength to actually injure the other.

The cops told both men to just settle down and everybody went about their business as though nothing had happened.






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