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DEC 16 - DEC 24, 2014

City Hall Jokes

December 16, 2014

Mayor Paul Dyster and DPW Director Dave Kinney just announced their new snow removal plan. It's called April.

Mayor Dyster set December 18 for his city hall Christmas party. Maria Brown, Ruby Pulliam and Donna Owens are drawing straws to see who wears the Grinch costume.

Paul Dyster finally admitted why his budget was 37 days late, his dog ate it. The mayor doesn't have a dog.

Always willing to try innovative techniques to get more out of his employees, Dyster has made a move to keep all the men at city hall on their toes...he raised the urinals.

Now that his top department heads have shunned him, Dyster is so desperate for conversation that he's actually speaking to Donna Owens.

Three is a charm. First Dyster had trash inspectors with no ordinance to enforce. Now he's got an ordinance with no trash inspectors to enforce it.

The mayor was so touched at the thought of city employees losing their jobs in the 2015 budget that he almost shed a tear.

City hall insiders say that Dyster is now considering hazard pay for everyone that has to work with the city Controller.

How is the Niagara Falls city budget like the Chinese culture? They've both been described as an enigma wrapped in a riddle inside a contradiction.

There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that things are getting strange inside the Dyster administration. "Jonathan," the mayor's imaginary friend, issued a statement saying, "Everything at city hall is just honky dory!"

Heard at city hall: "As mayor I have a real problem with the council telling me how to misuse casino cash. I'll be the judge of how to misuse casino cash!"

Help is on the way. Mayor Dyster has contacted Albany. He's asking the state to "restructure" his snow removal plan.





Bureaucratic Indifference, New York Style Contributes to Little Girl's Suffering, Death
Studies Show Marijuana May Help Cure Cancer
Peaceful Falls Protest in Support of Criminals Does Society no Good
John Kane True Champion of Native Sovereignty
Exploding the City Budget and Finance Myths
No Rhyme or Reason to Justify Dyster's Casino Cash Spending
The Reporter Offers to "Restructure" City Finances
Gazette Agrees With Reporter on Dyster's Hard Rock Party
State Lawmakers Seeking Pay Raise, Should Get Pay Cut
City Hires Hodgson Russ to Fight Age-Discrimination Complaint
Standing Tall: Dyster Did not Delete Photo of Bill Cosby
No One Seems to be Able to Get Enough Skrlin
History: Glynn Shamed into Dropping Fake Maid Legend by Local Historian and Native Allies
The Original Legend of the Maid of the Mist
Reporter Launches New North Tonawanda Column
Anti-Catholic Necklace
Republican Majority Passes $336 Million 2015 County Budget, Despite costly state welfare mandates, taxes lower than decade ago
Teenage, Suspected Murderer of Falls' Man Seeks Plea Deal
Dyster Proposes Getting City into Business of Animal Rescue
Beth Ceretto Joins Walker in Not Filing Disclosure Reports
CBP Officers in Falls Seize Cocaine Hidden Inside a Tire And Other Sad and Stupid Cocaine-related Smuggling and Misdeeds
This Week in Stupid Crime
City Hall Jokes
He Spent it "My Way"
Letters to the Editor
Great Dane Puppies Available
Niagara Falls Housing Authority's Youth Choir to Host Annual Christmas Concert
Bills Defense Is Super Bowl Material; Offense Still Lacking

Contact Info

©2014 The Niagara Falls Reporter Inc.
POB 3083, Niagara Falls, N.Y. 14304
Phone: (716) 284-5595

Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
Senior Editor: Tony Farina