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Apr 08 - Apr 15, 2014

Tall People Needed in Niagara Falls to Boost Population

April 08, 2014

Tall people can reach things.

The plan of Niagara Falls Community Development Director Seth Piccirillo to pay college graduates to move to Niagara Falls seems to be failing.

It only attracted seven people.

But it may have failed not because it is a flawed but because it does not go far enough.

The plan to pay people, who recently received an associate degree or better from a college, $3,500 a year for two years, if they move to certain areas along Third and Fourth Sts., between Niagara and Cedar, is a grand idea.

College graduates are a darn sight better than the people we have here already who simply work for a living and pay Piccirillo's salary.

"Creative, young professionals make decisions on where they are going to live. We have to build neighborhoods that attract them here," said Piccirillo.

College graduates are too short for this big-time city.


And "creative" (subsidized) and "young" is better than hard working (boring) and old.

But the narrow stricture of only wanting college graduates, who are often snotty, arrogant and conceited, is holding us back.

I suggest we pay tall people to live here.

Tall people, because they are taller, can reach more things and people always look up to them.

A lot of college graduates are short anyway. The average male college graduate is only a runt-like 5'9" while the average college female is only a shrimp-like 5 feet 4 inches.

If a person is both a college graduate and tall then he/she should get two payments. That's only fair.

Then we will become known as the "City of Educated Giants."


We need tall women too and ought to pay them to live here.






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