Niagara Falls Reporter
Home | Archive/Search
SEP 22 - SEP 29, 2015

City Hall Jokes

SEP 22, 2015

Niagara Falls has too many: A) confused politicians B) cats C) rats D) consultants E) all of the above

Question: why is Jimmy Szwedo's political opinion like the weather? Answer: if you don't like it just wait a day and it'll change.

Some people call Mr. Szwedo, Jimmy, some call him James, Mayor Dyster calls him "my newest best friend."

The mysteries keep piling up at city hall. We still don't know where the missing $1.4 million went as reported by the State Comptroller. How can a city with 60,000 cats possibly have a rat problem? And how could the Democratic voters give Mayor Dyster a primary win after he raised their taxes, froze their water lines, and spent $90 million of their casino taxpayer dollars!

Signs of the Dyster end times? Dyster won the primary and then: the SPCA made the shocking claim that the city had more cats than people, a dead man was found in the park bleachers across the street from the Gazette, and a tourist was tragically swept over the falls near Prospect Point.

When Paul Dyster was told that the city had a serious problem with 60,000 feral cats, he paused, thought for a moment, and said, "If only those cats could vote for me!"

"The voters kind of, sort of, almost, nearly, barely, like me!" Paul "landslide" Dyster after the absentee ballots were counted

Residents of 72nd Street start your calendars! Your mayor promised to begin work on your water lines by October 1 and have it completed by November. We don't know whether to laugh, cry, or cut to the chase and say "We told you so."







DNA Tests on Kane's Accuser Come Up Positive for Others, Not Kane
Support to Change Name of the Robert Moses Parkway To 'Niagara Scenic Parkway' Gains Traction in County Legislature
Academy Park Has Seen Better Days, Should We Fix That?
An Insider's View of the Dyster-Choolokian Absentee Ballot Count at BOE
How About Changing Name of Niagara County to 'Stupid' Why Stop at Changing Robert Moses Parkway Name Only?
Will Dyster see SolarCity Spinoff on Highland Ave?
Accardo Rolls Out Reform Agenda State Reform Party Endorses Accardo
Is Cuomo in Contempt of Court? Attorneys May Seek Motion Before Judge Caruso
Historic Sites Proposed by Cuomo Prompts Glynn Comparison
Brilliant Artist Gerald Skrlin Captures the Imagination as Dyster Captured Council
Bogus Claim of the Week? Feral Cats Outnumber People in Niagara Falls
Forster's Folly Lockport, NT Benefit From Democratic Leader's Ineffective Plan
Connors, LaTona Say Sedita Was Responsible, Effective DA
Moving On-Part 6
Become a First Responder! Upper Mountain Fire Company open house offers FREE Fire engine rides, live burn demo, refreshments and info
Thursday Night $5 Thriller Movies At The Riviera
Only in NT: The total disconnect between needs of residents and City
Ryan Could Learn a Thing or Two From Lombardi
City Hall Jokes

Contact Info

©2014 The Niagara Falls Reporter Inc.
POB 3083, Niagara Falls, N.Y. 14304
Phone: (716) 284-5595

Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
Senior Editor: Tony Farina