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MAR 31 - APR 07, 2015

City Hall Jokes

March 31, 2015


We finally discovered why Francine DelMonte is an ever-present guest on the Vince Anello show. Every eighth visit earns her a free happy meal at the city market McDonalds.

Council chairman Touma and Mayor Dyster have put their heads together in an effort to boost the city population to 50,000 by declaring pit bulls to be residents. Dyster said "We have the homeless and sex offenders tabulated, if we can get the pit bulls qualified we'll hit the 50,000 mark lickety-split."

How are Dyster's train station and the Covanta facility strangely similar? One brings trash from New York City to the people part of town and the other will bring people from New York City to the trashed part of town.

Two local animal activists told the mayor they'd give an arm and leg to volunteer at Dyster's animal shelter. His Honor said "These are exactly the sort of people we need to service our pit bulls."

Answer: An Etch a Sketch.

Question: What instrument does the city keep its financial records on?

Answer: When pigs fly.

Question: When will we see the city's books posted transparently on line?

Bob Anderson and Alicia Laible are going to campaign as a team with their theme being "Vote for Beauty and the Beast." The City Democratic Committee isn't saying which is which.

A pattern runs through it. For Paul Dyster to take an interest in a project the project has to have the word "park" in the title as in LaSalle Waterfront Park, Jayne Park, dog park, skate park, Griffon Park etc. There's no "park" in taxes, deficit, casino revenue plan, crime, roads or trash.

Alicia Laible announced her campaign for council and called for city government to emphasize the need for more Facebook and social media activity. Uh-huh, never mind the crime, dilapidated roads, failed trash plan, lack of development, city debt, city deficit, condemned housing and wasted casino cash. Looks like Ms. Laible is a glass half full sort of gal.

Political dictionary

Deficit: the number detailing the amount the city is in the red with that number never reported as being the same two times in a row. As a consequence any notion of there being a definitive "city deficit" has become a purely theoretical consideration somewhat along the lines of the question "does God exist?" or "is there life on other planets and if so how can we prove it?"





Anderson to Seek Reelection
City Councilman Bob Anderson; Humble Hero Fighting for People
Anderson: A Man With Track Record to Judge
Your Mayor in Action: Dyster Lost Wallenda and the Record Shows How
Dyster's Freestyle Spending Overlooks Fact That Our City is Going Broke Fast
Top County Democrat is Arrested
Hyde Park Recreation Missing Basketball
Has the Time Come For a New Convention Center?
Trading Convention Center for Casino - a Bad Deal for City
Falconry, Leashed Tracking Dog, Wildlife Rehabilitator Exams Slated for April Exams Slated for April 10; Exam Applications Due March 27
Frozen Water Lines, The YMCA - Two Major Issues That Need to be Addressed
ECC Faces Budget Crisis and Federal Lawsuit From Former HR Director
Jacobs Defends Dedicated Road Fund Plan, Says Current Structure Is the Real Gimmick
NT Forgot to Plan for Parking and Overnight Accommodations
Are You Pregnant And Need Help? Summit Life Outreach Can Help
This Week in Stupid Crime
Niagara Falls Memorial to Host Look Good Feel Better Program
Letters to the Editor
City Hall Jokes

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