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Hot on the heels of the surprise announcement
that a methadone clinic will be
setting up shop in the former school district offices
on 6th Street, the Reporter is chasing a
hot rumor that Dyster's city hall is going to locate
an ISIS owned Burger King on Rainbow
Boulevard. |
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The 2016 city budget - that was approved
in secrecy on November 17 - has
been dubbed "the stealth budget." That's
because just like the stealth bomber people
don't realize it's there until things start
exploding and everything goes up in
smoke. |
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While Santa Claus disappeared two
weeks ago during the Dyster-Owens Holly
Trolly there's no truth to the rumor that he
disappeared inside the Trott Building
methadone clinic. |
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However, it's true that Santa was seen
waiting for a bus on the corner of Main
and Cleveland with Totes McGoat earlier
that day. |
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Paul Dyster, Totes McGoat and Santa
Claus walk into a bar. The bartender looks
up and yells, "No creeps allowed! Totes
and Santa, you can stay." |
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There's lots of talk as to whether the
city hall men's club will finally allow Kristen
Grandinetti to become council chairperson.
Councilmen Walker and Touma said
they have no problem with a female taking
the chairman's seat. They said, "Our only request
is that the person holding the position
possess an X and Y chromosome." |
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Will this guy ever admit to knowing
anything about anything? Mayor Dyster
didn't know about the loss of 200 jobs at
DuPont/Chemours. He hadn't a clue about
the planned methadone clinic. He didn't
know about the plans for the Y becoming
a homeless shelter until the sale of the
building was finalized. And the true cause
of the frozen water lines on 72nd Street
was a mystery to him until a secret engineering
report that he was privy to from
day one eventually became public. Is he
that out of touch or is he that devious? We
report you decide, but you're stuck with
him for four more years. |