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Here are two sentences President George W. Bush will never utter:
Now, I'd venture to say most Americans would agree with those propositions and cheer the enormously popular president if he spoke those words. But it's remarkably telling that he won't.
The reason is that Bush's personal and financial ties with Enron executives, the Arthur Andersen accounting firm, the Saudi royal family and business leaders in that country force the president to be silent on obvious truths.
We all know Bush's campaign money links with Enron and cozy relationship with ousted Enron CEO Kenneth "Kenny Boy" Lay. Less known is the key and questionable role Arthur Andersen played in making Bush a fortune.
In 1990, George W. owned Spectrum 7, a failing oil company. He bailed out, selling the company to Harken Energy for shares of Harken stock which he later sold for $835,000. Bush was made a director of Harken, and shortly after his deal the company experienced unexpected losses and the stock price tumbled.
But Bush had dumped his Harken shares two months before the plunge, and he didn't report the sale as the law required. When word of that "shrewd" move spread the Securities and Exchange Commission launched an investigation.
Two weeks before he sold the stock, Bush and other directors of the company met with their accountants. You guessed it -- Arthur Andersen.
Bush and all others involved insist they never discussed the company's financial troubles and the fact Harken was going to take a $23.2 million loss for the second quarter. The minutes of the meeting reflect happy talk, but Harken has refused to release detailed records of the events.
Bush, according to the Washington Post, used the money to pay off the loan he had taken out to buy the Texas Rangers baseball team. That deal eventually made him a multimillionaire in his own right. God bless Arthur Andersen!
The SEC probe ended ambiguously, but the report on the deal notes this "must in no way be construed as indicating that the party [George W. Bush] has been exonerated."
Arthur Andersen kicked in $200,000 for the Bush presidential campaign and the managing partner of Andersen's Houston office joined the Bush "Pioneers," pledging more than $100,000 to the campaign coffers. That's the same office, by the way, that shredded all those Enron documents.
This should make every American's and every civilized person on earth's blood boil. The New York Times reports, "A Saudi Arabian poll revealed that 95 percent of educated Saudis between the ages of 25 and 41 support Osama bin Laden." Many of those polled got their educations at American universities.
Now why is it that President Bush and other American politicians refuse to take on the Saudi government or even whisper a word of criticism?
It all comes down to money and it's not just cheap oil prices. It's Saudi money stuffed into the pockets of American political leaders and their friends and relatives.
Consider this headline in Newsweek last week, "Neil Bush's Saudi Business Connection."
That's the brother and son of presidents trying to recruit Saudi investors for his educational software firm.
Industry insiders say Neil Bush's company may profit enormously from the $26.5 billion dollar education bill his brother signed into law.
The president's youngest brother was the keynote speaker at an international business forum sponsored by, among others, the Saudi Binladen Construction Group, the family business that made Osama wealthy.
But remember: Like father, like son. George H.W. Bush picks up $100,000 every time he speaks as senior advisor of the Carlyle Group, an investment bank with substantial interests in Saudi Arabia.
Please note sucking up to the Saudis for money is most bipartisan. Also speaking at the business forum and picking up a $300,000 fee was former President Bill Clinton. The Bush family and Clinton greed is disgustingly shameful.
Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah gave a rare interview last week in which he blasted US support for Israel and had the nerve to say, "How can we defend America?"
Abdullah is the alpha male of the dirty desert dogs who make up the Saudi royal family and business elite that exploit their own people and use willing American politicians to do their bidding.
In the same interview, Abdullah finally admits Saudis were involved in the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks (15 of the 19 hijackers were Saudis). He says Bin Laden is trying to drive a wedge between the kingdom and the United States. He added, "When the tragedy happened, there wasn't a child in Saudi Arabia who didn't feel the pain." I guess college graduates there are immune to empathy.
Here's a question White House speechwriters and Washington influence peddlers won't get but readers of the Reporter will ace.
Nearly two-thirds of all the suspected terrorists being held in Cuba are citizens of what country?
Dick Cheney picked No. 1, but of course our readers got the correct number -- No. 4.
Last week's column on "Chainsaw Al" Dunlap requires a correction and amplification. I noted Dunlap, while President of Nitec paper in Niagara Falls, had spearheaded the project to build clay tennis courts at the Niagara Falls Country Club.
My generally reliable memory failed me. Dunlap led the charge to get lights for the courts. My apologies.
I did get an e-mail from a club member who recalls tennis players trying to avoid playing with Dunlap "either as partner or opponent." The tennis-loving physician says Dunlap was avoided on the courts "because of his unabashed cheating, lying, inflated self-image and other unsavory personality characteristics."
Too bad it took Wall Street so long to learn what NFCC members knew 25 years ago.
And there is this gem of justice from a friend and longtime NFCC insider. Dunlap had a birthday coming up and the pompous narcissist planned his own celebration. The gathering would be at the NFCC and adoration for Al would be the theme.
The club, perched on the Niagara escarpment, offers a magnificent view of the winding Niagara River, Lewiston, fruit orchards, the cool blue of Lake Ontario and, in the distance, the majestic skyline of Toronto.
It is truly one of the greatest vistas in North America, fit for the grandee, Al Dunlap, on the day lesser mortals celebrate his birth.
The crowd was made up mostly of Nitec executives and their wives, along with suppliers and vendors.
It was the kind of crowd Al loved -- simpering sycophants he could bully and browbeat.
As the sun sets over Toronto the view becomes even more dramatic, and the moment of supreme adoration of King Al approaches. As the sky darkens, the curtains on the huge windows slowly close and the lights dim.
Then a birthday cake worthy of royalty is wheeled in. It's multi-tiered and took days to decorate. The candles on the cake light the room and the crowed is hushed in awe. Dunlap beams that disgusting toothy smile that later would cost thousands of people their jobs as he made a fortune.
The moment of triumph is near. As the cake approaches Al's table, the little wheels on the cart roll over a seam in the carpeting and suddenly splendor turns into splat.
Al's power-and-glory cake catapults from the cart in an ignominious plunge to the carpet. There were horrified gasps from Al's wife and two friends in attendance.
Most of the crowd had the difficult task of trying to control their overwhelming glee and covering their faces to hide their delight as their bodies shook inside with laughter. The brave and undisciplined simply howled.
For unbelievers this proves there is a God and reaffirms faith for the rest of us.
But like the corporate destruction he left behind, Al Dunlap didn't have to clean up the mess.