The following is going to seem like quite a contradiction, but the new sword-and-sandal epic celebrating Greek heroics is visually unique. And it's that very same visual quality that is the film's ultimate downfall.
First, some background. The movie is entitled "300." That number is how many Spartan warriors squared off against foot soldiers, elephants and a weird doom-spouting soothsayer for the Persian Empire at a spit of land in Greece where the Battle of Thermopylae took place. It seems the rest of the Greeks -- especially, according to a line of dialogue, the "boy-loving Athenians" -- weren't interested in defending the homeland against Xerxes and his bloodthirsty legions, supposedly numbering between 100,000 and 250,000, depending on which legend you believe.
Therefore, the well-muscled Spartans mocked the odds and their fellow Greeks, and took it upon themselves to ward off Xerxes and mess with his head. I won't tell you how the tale ends. Suffice it to say, after the Battle of Thermopylae was over, the Grecian layabouts got their act together and went after the Persians. That's all you really need to know about the story line itself.
"300" runs about two hours, and the first 30 minutes or so is setup. Spartan King Leonidas has lusty sex with his wife, Gorgo, and demands that the Persians be stopped. There are some citizens-in-the-marketplace scenes, a few comic touches, plenty of "rah rah, let's go to war" moments and something that resembles an outtake from "Caligula." And then, wham -- we're in for a 90-minute exercise in blood and gore.
There are more severed limbs and beheadings than I've ever seen in a movie, and I've seen a lot of movies. Leonidas exhorts his men with the line "No surrender, no retreat." For a minute I thought he was William Wallace from "Braveheart," or worse, Vice President Dick Cheney. But it couldn't be Cheney, because Leonidas and his 299 men have pectoral muscles for days and flat abs that would make Richard Simmons faint. The battle is no day at the beach, but it looks as if it takes place after a night at the gym.
The movie is narrated by a pompous chap who I think is the guy who is sent to tell the Greeks that Xerxes is 10 feet tall, has earrings, nipple rings and, for all I know, toe rings. He's a golden S&M fantasy, laden with metal and glistening from the top of his bald head to his bejeweled slippers. I kept wondering, who are these people? Anyway, the narrator is boring, but he does fit in with the heavy-handed music.
All of this could be fun if it weren't for the film's main problem. First, a little more background information. "300" is based on a graphic novel, which, as you all know, is just a comic book for big people. It's by Frank Miller of "Sin City" fame. The director of the movie is Zack Snyder and he also wrote the cliche-ridden screenplay. Frank, who also worked on the film, and Zack have decided that the best way to showcase the graphic novel is to make us think we're watching a comic book come to life.
Thus, the characters all look as if they stepped out of a dream world, or in the case of "300," a nightmare world. The production art (meaning the settings) are stylized, and the costuming is minimal. I mean it when I write that the guys and the gals wear practically nothing. Did the Spartans really always fight half-naked? There are moments of pure cinematic poetry, as when hundreds of thousands of arrows hurtle through the sky or the elephants fall off a cliff.
But, here's the rub. It's all fake. Live actors were shot in front of green screens waving swords and yelling a lot. Everything else is computer-generated. Everything, folks. The buildings, the mountains, the arrows, the elephants tumbling over the cliff, and much, much more were all created at desks in a suite of offices in Montreal. Now, for people interested in that sort of thing, I believe "300" will serve as an education as to what can be accomplished with digital effects. However, the digital effort isn't as superior as it could have been. Things have a way of fooling the eye, but the eye can also tell when something is flat and lifeless. Hundreds of thousands of Persians advancing near a body of water blend into nothingness. It becomes one digital blur.
The visuals are made worse by the bone-headed decision to drain the movie of most colors. The legendary Battle of Thermopylae is presented in sepia -- that's brown and white, and not a very stark brown and white, more muddy than distinct. There are some golden hues here and there, and the copious blood that flows is the color of burgundy wine, more blackish than red. I did spot a splash of green in the marketplace, produce of some kind -- I think they were leeks.
Because of the failure to spend some real money on graphic artists with talent, to take the time to draw clearly definable images and to use vibrant colors, the movie hangs on the theater wall like a bad painting. It's an interesting way to make a movie, but the bottom line is that story and script are important, too. "300" is still just a throwback to those silly gladiator films from Italy and Spain. The only difference is that now computers are doing the embarrassing work.
| Niagara Falls Reporter | www.niagarafallsreporter.com | March 13 2007 |