Exhibition games are football's answer to mock apple pie.
The August edition of the National Football League, like the dessert invented during the Great Depression for people too poor to buy real apples, is almost the real thing.
It looks like football.
It sounds like football.
But it ain't football. At least not the full-speed, high-stakes, down-to-the-last-second brand of the sport that turns Sunday afternoons into a weekly secular holiday.
BillStuff's first game-day outing of the 2003 season reinforced that simple truism. While Tennessee's 37-24 win over Buffalo offered enough big plays and big hits for a mid-October contest, any sense of drama was completely overshadowed by one inescapable fact -- it just didn't matter.
That was clear from the crowd reaction, or complete lack thereof, at the pair of Niagara Street establishments selected as Saturday's vantage points. At both Players and the Arterial Lounge, people regularly glanced at the screen. But no one seemed to care.
Even the usual sources of suspense that augment pure team loyalty -- the point spread and final-score pools -- were absent.
As they should be. Should you ever find yourself risking perfectly good cash on exhibition football, report immediately to your local Gamblers Anonymous chapter.
Not to suggest exhibition games approach unwatchability, but the steady diet of penalties and incomplete passes in the second half forced several BS staffers out to the sidewalk to pitch quarters.
The main benefit of the preseason for coaches is seeing which areas require the most work before September. Gregg Williams and his staff found no shortage of those.
Their reinforced first-line defense surrendered touchdowns on two of the three drives directed by Titans starting quarterback Steve McNair, and another guided by third-stringer Billy Volek while most of Buffalo's starters were still on the field. The pass rush was particularly notable by its complete absence.
Chalk some of that up to the time of year. Linebacker Takeo Spikes, the centerpiece of Buffalo's offseason defensive overhaul, sat out with a groin injury that wouldn't have kept him off the field had the game meant anything.
The starting offense wasn't any better, netting just 56 yards on its first three possessions. Let's face it -- the BS staff was hardly in midseason form, either. We missed the opening kickoff and were talking with Mark, a visitor from New Jersey taking in the game at Players, during Tennessee's first touchdown.
But there were some redeeming moments. Travis Henry's 62-yard run set up Buffalo's first points, and he would likely have scored in a regular-season game.
On the next play, fullback Sam Gash showed why Bills management brought him back, delivering a crushing open-field block to clear Olandis Gary's path to the end zone.
Nate Clements came up with an interception for the second game in a row, providing the lone stain on McNair's otherwise-perfect night.
All in all, it wasn't fuel for giddy optimism or cause for panic.
And it's still three weeks until the real thing is ready to be served.
BILLS MVP: The guy who drives the little tractor used to cart injured players off the field. Keeping him inactive was Buffalo's biggest accomplishment.
THE OTHER GUYS' MVP: In his brief outing, McNair flashed the playmaking skills that should have made him the NFL MVP last year. Sorry, Rich Gannon fans, but your boy soiled himself in the biggest game of his life.
CRUMMY TIMING AWARD: Antoine Winfield is heading into the final year of his contract, and figures to rank as one of the top cornerbacks on the free-agent market.
Buffalo's No. 1 draft pick in 1999 looked downright lost on Volek's 35-yard touchdown pass to Justin McCareins, which gave Tennessee a 21-0 lead. Getting torched by an unheralded receiver taking a throw from a third-string quarterback is a pretty ominous start to Winfield's payoff year.
Winfield's ability is unquestioned, but Clements has produced more big plays on the other side in two fewer seasons. If Winfield doesn't come up with a few interceptions this year, Bills management will, and should, let someone else overpay him.
SPEAKING OF OVERPAYING: Much of the national media pegged the Atlanta Falcons as this year's darkhorse Super Bowl contender from the NFC, partly due to Michael Vick's amazing second pro season and partly due to the signing of Peerless Price.
The assumptions that Price is worth the massive contract he received from the Falcons and capable of being a contender's No. 1 receiver took hits Saturday night, when Vick went down for at least the first month of the season with a broken leg.
Now, in addition to not having Eric Moulds, or anyone else, drawing double coverage across the field from him, Price won't have the benefit of Vick's mobility to keep defenses from smothering him.
Let's see what you've got, Peerless.
INEVITABLE REPLAY: In Buffalo's first trip to Tennessee since the Home Run Throwback playoff game, Frank Wycheck's cross-field heave to Kevin Dyson was sure to get a few more airings, particularly after Wycheck got knocked goofy on the first play of the game.
Having seen the controversial throw 1,439 times now, I can unequivocally say this much. I'm still not sure if it was a lateral.
WING REVIEW: The Arterial's kitchen produced well-cooked, meaty portions. The hots were more tasty than spicy, and provided a welcome distraction while the guys who will be looking for day jobs in two weeks were running around aimlessly on the screen. GRADE: A solid B.
BS FAN OF THE WEEK: There were few Bills loyalists to be found, but Mark from New Jersey would have prevailed even amongst tougher competition and even though he's an avowed Minnesota Vikings fan.
He was in town, along with 120 other people, getting ready for the Empire State AIDS Ride. The bicyclists departed Monday morning, scheduled to cover 500 miles in six days, raising nearly $400,000 for charity.
Mark, a Manhattan banker, started taking part in such fundraisers after his daughter, Lydia, was born with a rare heart condition called Noonan's Syndrome. She's now a healthy, happy 4-year-old, and his employer sponsors his charitable efforts.
Plus, he won all of Mike Hudson's quarters in less time than it takes the Niagara Falls Reporter's editor in chief to write a snotty headline.
| Niagara Falls Reporter | www.niagarafallsreporter.com | August 19 2003 |