Niagara Falls Reporter
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SEP 08 - SEP 15, 2015

City Hall Jokes

SEP 08, 2015

Is Mayor Dyster distressed over the upcoming election? Rumor has it that all sharp objects have been removed from his city hall office.

However, there’s no truth to the rumor that a city hall employee received a stipend to remove those sharp objects from his office.

Vote for Dyster? As mayor of Niagara Falls Paul Dyster spent $90,000,000 of your casino cash, plus, he froze your water pipes, plus, he built a $50,000,000 courthouse, plus, he built a $44,000,000 train station, plus, he spent $100,000 on a parking study, plus, he gave penguins $150,000 in casino revenue, plus, he gave his campaign manager’s wife a judgeship, plus, he spent $2,200,000 of your money on trash totes, plus, he refused to hire a city engineer, plus…well, you get the picture.

Sometimes you feel like a city employee sometimes you don’t! When Paul Dyster hooked Brook D’Angelo up with a job did he end up with a campaign worker moonlighting as a city employee or a city employee moonlighting as a campaign worker?

While on the Tom Darro show last week the mayor referred to a local “disreputable newspaper.” What newspaper was he slamming?
a) Buffalo News
b) Niagara Gazette
c) Niagara Falls Reporter

Identify the Niagara Falls business below:
a) Paul Dyster’s “Niagara Tradition Homebrew Supply” of Tonawanda
b) The Niagara Falls Reporter of Niagara Falls

What are Paul Dyster’s three favorite Jackson Browne songs?
Running on Empty
The Pretender
Lawyers in Love

What two things do Andrew Cuomo, Kirsten Gillibrand and Brian Higgins have in common?
1) None of them live here
2) They want you to vote for Paul Dyster

“The times they are a’changin’” John Accardo went from Democrat to Republican. John Ceretto went from Democrat to Republican to Democrat. Paul Dyster is going from mayor to former mayor.

Q: How are Nik Wallenda and the Niagara Power exactly alike?
A: Dyster tossed both of them out of the city.

Paul Dyster and his 72nd Street engineering consultants walk into a bar. Dyster turns to the consultants and says, “If I win the primary you’ll have to work hard and fast to get the water lines repaired before Election Day. If I lose the primary I’m going back to Tonawanda to run my beer store and you’re on your own!”

Paul Dyster couldn’t have said it better. When mayoral candidate Jim Szwedo appeared on the Darro show last Wednesday, the radio host told Mr. Szwedo, “It’s not important why the pipes on 72nd Street froze or whose fault it is, let’s just fix the problem!”

Three weeks ago the Reporter predicted that Dyster would turn Sal Maglie Stadium over to a private operator now that he had the Niagara Power out of the picture. Last week the mayor announced he was seeking a private operator to run the stadium. Is the Reporter that good or is Dyster that obvious? The answer to both questions is, yes.







Dyster Losing all Grip on Reality: Claims $800 Million in New Development Here
Interview With a Community Hero: Sam Fruscione
Humble, Unpretentious Pillot to Run Again For Lockport Mayor
More Wrong on 72nd St Than Just Water Lines Sewer Laterals Need Attention Now!
Did Democrats Stumble in (not) Fielding Candidates For Niagara County Legislature?
Cuomo, Gillibrand, and Higgins, Oh My!
The Reporter Proposes Plan to Help Set City on Road to Recovery
Darro Turns his Radio Show Over to Dyster Six Days Before the Primary
Can Glenn Choolokian Pull off Upset Against Dyster in Thursday Primary?
Dyster Claims Rise in City's Aesthetic Quantification Under his Guidance
County Employee, Accused Dope Peddler Given Kid Glove Treatment by Cops, County
Note to Lewiston Supervisor Brochey: Finish Up 0r Wrap it Up
Democratic Council Primary Worthy of Serious Attention in Falls
Republican Mayoral Primary Gets Lost in Shuffle of Choolokian-Dyster
Standing Down the Bolsheviks
Politics Not for the People
Albany, Washington, Buffalo Pols Enthusiastically Endorsing Dyster
Experience Matters in Selecting a City Court Judge
Why I Seek Your Support for Town of Lewiston Supervisor
Running to Serve as City Court Judge
Setting the Record Straight with Rev. Raymond Allen
Accardo Picks Up Key Endorsement Has Eye on Restoring Fiscal Accountability
Another Skrlin Magnificent Breakthrough
Buzzy Carone-Part 5
Only in NT: The Fallacy of our "Revitalized" Webster Street
No Witnesses Today Before Kane Grand Jury, Sources Say
Bills Have Opportunity to Make Statement in Opener
City Hall Jokes

Contact Info

©2014 The Niagara Falls Reporter Inc.
POB 3083, Niagara Falls, N.Y. 14304
Phone: (716) 284-5595

Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
Senior Editor: Tony Farina