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OCT 22 - OCT 29, 2015

City Hall Jokes

OCT 22, 2015

Mayor Dyster and Totes McGoat walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “You get out! The goat can stay.”

What can you say about a city administration that unceremoniously showed world famous high wirewalker Nik Wallenda the door but welcomed “Totes McGoat” to town?

"Which one is the Mayor?" Heard outside city hall as Mayor Dyster introduced Totes McGoat to the media.

City survey: Has the Paul Dyster-Totes McGoat episode caused you to forget any of the following?
A) The city's $7.6 million deficit
B) The city's $63 million debt
C) The frozen water lines
D) The crime and unsolved murders

Mayor, you're only fooling yourself. Mr. Dyster breathlessly posted to his Face- book page a Gazette editorial praising his modification of the trash plan, three weeks prior to the election. The mayor failed to post the scathing Gazette editorial calling for his Totes McGoat to be deposited in a landfill.



There is no truth to the rumor that Totes McGoat is going to replace Donna Owens as city administrator. There is truth to the rumor that Mr. McGoat is going to replace Craig Johnson as corporation counsel.



The Gazette editorialized about Totes Mc-Goat, calling the creation of the nasty mascot, “high on the list of embarrassments” for the Dyster administration. We wonder how high it ranks against the $50 million courthouse, $44 million train station, $13 million ice pavilion renovation, shuttered Underground Railroad Interpretive center, pothole streets, millions spent on consultants, cricket field, $150,000 to refrigerate penguins, frozen water lines, and, well, you know.


Hey, it wasn’t so bad, was it? Aside from being poorly thought out, cheesy in appearance, satanic in nature, and totally frightening for children the Totes McGoat character was,






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Skrlin, the Magnificent, Creates Another Masterpiece: Toast Me Goats
Dyster Puts it in Writing for City Employees: 'Just Give me a Fair Chance.'
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In wake of Choolokian Squeaker, Dyster Panders to City Union
Casino Revenue: How Sweet it Could Have Been For The Residents
Tires Slashed at Marine Drive After Council Votes to Move Canalside Concerts
Bilson Sees 'Totes McGoats Mentality' Destroying LaSalle
The Totes McGoats Q&A
'Satanic' Totes McGoats Turns Out to Be Convicted Heroin Dealer, Dyster City Worker
Is it Baphomet or Totes McGoats? Looks the same, What's the Difference?
Gus the Goose Gets Dyster's Goat
Disappointing Bills Should Handle Jags in London Game
'Price' for a Better Niagara Falls
The Expert Voice for Protecting Our City's Bones
Free Pizza Junction Again This Sunday Afternoon for Football Fans at Nifty Fifty
What Makes an Open Mic Special?
News of the Weird
City Hall Jokes
Your Weekly Horoscope

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