City Hall Jokes

Sources tell us that Mayor Dyster partied like it was 1999 this past weekend at the Third Street Block Party. The residents of 72nd Street are said to be planning a June “Ice Block Party.” The mayor won’t be invited.

Mayor Dyster and Tom DeSantis are complaining that there’s not enough cash in the NFC bank account for them to hand out. That’s like Bernie Madoff complaining that there weren’t enough investors in his Ponzi scheme.

Political dictionary
City Charter - the legal document that defines how city government operates. The charter is debated, studied and ultimately ignored by the mayor and council thereby making its irrelevance unanimous.

Third Street - a Niagara Falls street that defies description, defies development and defies private investment. So we can properly characterize the street, in a nod to Hollywood, as home of the Defiant Ones.

Yes, Virginia there is truth to the rumor that Jayne Park has been mentioned as a possible location for the mayor’s cricket field. Gus the Goose confirmed this with the Reporter three days ago.

The new traffic circle at John Daly Boulevard was opened to great fanfare last week. The state’s latest incarnation of the Parkway now has residents and visitors alike going around and around getting nowhere fast.

The state is calling the $18.8 million Parkway modification the “riverway.” The rest of us call it the expressway to Jimmy Glynn’s front door.

With Mayor Dyster pushing for a cricket field, can a request from His Honor for a Swedish Kubb facility or a Finnish Molkky playing area be far behind? And we won’t dare mention the possibility of a Dyster-sponsored Quoit arena.  

Dyster’s Niagara Falls is rapidly becoming a city of haves and have-nots. Some have a cricket field and some don’t have running water.

The mayor perfectly summed up his views on both Little League and cricket saying, “The decision to build a cricket field was one of simple economics. Whose gonna write me a reelection check, a corporate executive that plays cricket or a nine year old little leaguer reeking of bazooka bubble gum?”

Mayor Dyster failed to show up on time at the Little League season opening so Kristen Grandinetti grabbed the mayor’s ball and took control of the situation. Nothing new there.