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MAY 19 - MAY 26, 2015

City Hall Jokes

May 19, 2015

When Paul Dyster told a group of city employees that he wanted to build a cricket field he was, ironically, met with the sound of…crickets. A delusional thought bubble above the mayor's head: "I know what the city needs! It needs a cricket field!"

Clueless in Atlanta: When Donna Owens heard about the mayor's plan for a cricket field she said, "Why do those noisy little bugs need their own field?" When asked why his finance department was allowed to create a revenue stream for a parking plan that was never approved with parking meters that don't exist, the mayor said, "We didn't juggle the books, we merely projected income that couldn't possibly be realized."

Lost in political translation. What Mr. Touma said: "We have to study the mayor's parking plan." What Mr. Touma meant: "I'll sit on his proposal for a few weeks and then approve it like I always do."

Gus the Goose, who was the subject of a story several weeks ago and who wrote a column last week on Jayne Park, has gone into hiding. Hearing that Mayor Dyster was after him Gus hightailed it out of town and is now roosting in an undisclosed Niagara County meadow. "They can threaten me but I won't be silenced," Gus told the Reporter.

Latest Andy Touma survey: When was the last time you: a) Launched a canoe b) Played cricket c) Rode a train.

Theme songs of… Niagara Falls voters, "We Won't Get Fooled Again," by The Who Paul Dyster, "The Pretender," by Jackson Brown The mayor's favorite employees, "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves," by Cher Donna Owens, "Should I Stay or Should I Go," by The Clash Cayuga Island residents, "Bend Me Shape Me," by American Breed

The Mark Hamister burlesque show is back in town and the dance of the seven veils has begun once more, this time with the Buffalo businessman supposedly applying for building permits. If past proves prologue Hamister's development striptease will expose very little skin and by Election Day the audience will go home frustrated for another year.





Will Dyster Move to Cut Baseball Diamonds To Make Room for Cricket at Hyde Park?
Niagara Falls and India
The President of the WNY Cricket League Comments On Bringing Cricket to Niagara Falls
As Evidence Shows Dyster Knew Real Cause of 72nd Street Water Freeze All Along But Denied It
Time Line Proves 72nd St. Residents Needlessly Suffered with Frozen Pipes in 2015
Motorola Transmits Phony Message to Niagara County
But radio goes bonk when dumb luck (and Harris Corp) step in
Hamister Hotel Still In Process At City Hall
Dyster Decision on Anello Verdict Isn't Very Appealing for the Taxpayer
Engineering Department Overtime Blues Sound Off Key to Trained Ears
NTCC Funded by Locals, Works to Enrich State, Delaware North, Glynn
Dyster Promises More Asphalt in Jayne Park "Unveiling" Ceremony
Dyster's Parking Meter Plan Another Example of Government by Wishing
Tell Mayor to Park his Plan Somewhere Else, a Warning to the City Council
Only in NT - Time for Some Answers at Buffalo Bolt
Riverdale Cemetery to Hold Annual Memorial Day Observance Saturday
A New Niagara Putting the People of Niagara Falls First
Issues, Yes I Have Issues!
Let's Talk About Baltimore
City Hall Jokes
Letchworth gets New Nature Center

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POB 3083, Niagara Falls, N.Y. 14304
Phone: (716) 284-5595

Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
Senior Editor: Tony Farina