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Dumb Crime at Check Cashing Store Draws Strange Dyster Facebook Line

By Frank Parlato

Will Rogers explains Dyster’s take.
Barber cannot prevent crime, but once he’s murdered, there is a fair trial.
Barber learns he is about to be annihilated.
Cortez M. McClain, 22, and Marcus D. Hamilton, Jr., 23, did not know that Universal Check Cashing protects its employees with a bullet-proof glass barrier.

On Mayor Paul Dyster's Facebook, he reveals a curious insight into his view on crime and how to deal with it.

The backdrop is an arrest, made following an attempted armed robbery of Universal Check Cashing on Portage Rd., where two masked black men, a moron named Cortez M. McClain, 22, of 1508 Cleveland Ave., and his equally stupid confederate, Marcus D. Hamilton, Jr., 23, of 2110 North Ave., allegedly entered and demanded money from the check cashing company.

The dumb robbers did not realize that the store protects its cash-checking employees as they work behind a bullet-proof glass barrier, so that they can confidently refuse to give stupid, would-be robbers any money.

The clerk, fully protected by break-proof doors and bullet-proof glass, went to the phone and called the police. The then terrified duo ran from the business, jumped into their stolen SUV, possibly soiling their pants along the way, and soon crashed into a parked car near Ninth St. and Pine Ave.

The would-be robbers then fled on foot and got a third nitwit to come with a car to pick them up in the 500 block of Ninth St.

Patrol officers and undercover officers were soon able to capture the fools and they charged McClain and Hamilton with attempted first-degree robbery, attempted second-degree robbery, second-degree menacing, second-degree criminal possession of a weapon, fourth-degree grand larceny and second-degree criminal mischief.

And first-degree stupidity.

Dyster, on Facebook, had this to say:

"Chief (Bryan) DalPorto's strategy for combating crime on Pine Avenue looks like its paying dividends. We can't stop people from attempting crimes, but we can certainly try to make sure they're quickly brought to justice when they do."

Really? Can't stop people from attempting crimes?

This reminded us of the 1934 movie "Judge Priest," starring Will Rogers and Stepin Fetchit, set in post-Civil War Kentucky.

To scare off a male suitor of a pretty young female neighbor, Judge Priest pretends to be talking to his friend Stepin - imitating his voice loudly enough to be overheard by the suitor, a barber named Clem Tally, who is sitting on the next door porch trying to seduce the young lady:

The Judge is alone and hiding behind some bushes as he pretends to be having a conversation with Stepin:

The Judge, imitating the voice of Stepin: Judge, oh Judge, you see anything of that Flem Talley, barber man around here?

Judge (using his own voice): No, what'd he be doing around here?

Judge (imitating Stepin): I don't know Judge, but they is headed this way for him.

Judge: What you talking about? Who is 'they'?

Judge (as Stepin): Some lady's pappy and a two barrel shotgun. He said this Mr. Talley is messin' aroun'. … Sure is in a killing mood.

Judge: You mean he is going to annihilate him?

Judge (as Stepin): No, sir. He done is going to shoot him, that's all.

Judge: Why, there ain't a thing I can do about it. My job don't start until they've got him all laid out in the morgue, full of buckshot, cold and dead, and ready for burial. Then I steps in.

Judge (as Stepin): But you, Judge, you is the law.

Judge: Oh I can't do a thing about it, as I said before, until the shooting is over, and then I'll certainly see that the murderer gets a fair trial….

At this point Flem gets on his horse and rides off at breakneck speed.

That's something like what's going on here in Niagara Falls. Except it isn't the criminals who are leaving at breakneck speed, it is the honest citizens.

A good prevention for the attempted crime at the Universal Check Cashing store would be to tell all dummies in this city, that there is bullet proof glass and when you come to rob it, you won't get any money. Dummy.



Niagara Falls Reporter - Publisher Frank Parlato Jr. www.niagarafallsreporter.com

Jan 28, 2014