Gillibrand: A Lot Less There Than Meets the Eye
By Craig Tretiak
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| Kirsten Gillibrand, anti father, anti men, anti brains.... |
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"Within the high school gossip circle that is New York's Congressional delegation, Kirsten Gillibrand's nickname is 'Tracy Flick' - a not-so-flattering reference to the overeager, blond, bubbly, and viciously competitive Reese Witherspoon character in the movie 'Election'."-Politico.com
New York's junior senator was in Buffalo Friday, and true to form, she offered up more of the inane pronouncements and vapid, breathlessly delivered platitudes for which, if the quote above is to be believed, she is famous for among her colleagues.
Her tenure in the U.S. Senate has been marked by a motley series of initiatives, as a visit to her official Senate webpage reveals. There, one can read headlines like "Gillibrand Announces Federal Ban on Drop-Side Cribs."
This sort of thing, of course, is normally left to middling bureaucrats at agencies like the Food and Drug Administration. No word yet on whether she will be announcing automotive recalls as well.
Here are the profound insights the woman who represents New York in the U.S. Senate, the world's greatest deliberative body, (and who actually holds the very Senate seat once held by Daniel Patrick Moynihan, Bobby Kennedy, Martin Van Buren, and DeWitt Clinton) offered up Friday at Buffalo's Avant Building:
"Choosing between your loved ones and your career and your future is a choice no one should have to make."
"With more dual-income households than ever before and more sole women breadwinners than ever before, when women workers get shortchanged, their entire family and the American economy gets held back."
"When you increase the minimum wage, every dime is spent on the economy."
The problem with Gillibrand is that everything she says sounds like she just read it off of a bumper sticker on the back of a rusted-out Honda Civic.
Perhaps tomorrow she will, again, with that breathless, optimistic, can-do sound in her voice, offer up some more wisdom.
Perhaps she will tell us that mean people suck.
Or that we should imagine a world where schools received all the funding they needed and the Air Force needed to hold a bake sale every time it wanted to buy a new bomber.
Or if children ate better, more nourishing food they would be healthier and more productive.
Or if Americans make more money, they will be financially better off.
Or that her boss is a Jewish carpenter.
Or that if we can read this, we should thank a teacher.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid once noted, with a lecherous cast in his eye, that Gillibrand was the "hottest" member of the U.S. Senate, which, we suppose, as he is possibly the most gortesque,, he is in a good position to judge.
Unfortunately, though, once you get past her blonde mane and pretty smile, there's a lot less there than meets the eye.