This Week in Stupid Crime
By Mike Hudson
Deodorant Thief Nabbed
Forty-eight-year-old John Smith, of 442 Memorial Parkway, was feeling rather funky one day last week. So funky, in fact, that he went to the Rite Aid drug store at 1030 Pine Ave. and tried to steal six cans of spray deodorant.
He was apprehended by alert store security who took him into custody and called police.
Smith admitted stealing the deodorant, valued at $52.50, and signed a form barring him from darkening the door of any Rite Aid store for a period of two years.
On the way to the police station, he asked the cop whether he would be charged just once for his attempted theft, or whether each can of deodorant would be a separate count. Rolling down the windows of the police cruiser, the officer told him one charge of petite larceny would suffice.
Pistol Magazine Found Near Bananas
Police are looking for whoever dropped a magazine from a .40 caliber Smith & Wesson pistol in the produce section of the Military Road Walmart Superstore last week.
The 10-round magazine contained just seven .40 caliber cartridges and was found near the bananas, police said. The owner of the magazine may pick it up at the Public Safety Building, 1925 Main St., where police took it for safekeeping.
'Juice' Charged With Rape
Herbert Clarence Cornell, 33, goes by the street name of "Juice" and lives at 525 Ninth St.
He was arrested by police last week on charges of rape in the first degree, rape in the second degree and endangering the welfare of a child.
Details are sketchy, but police said Cornell raped a Delaware Avenue child whose guardian reported the incident.
Woman Flees From Armed Robber
A woman walking alone in the 700 block of Seventh Street at around 6:30 p.m. said she was confronted by a black male who pointed a silver colored handgun at her and demanded she drop her purse.
She said she thought he was just messing with her so she told him, "You better just get on," but when the man repeated his demand, she knew he was serious.
She turned and ran all the way down Seventh Street to Pine Avenue and the house of a friend, whose phone she borrowed to call the police. She never did drop her purse, and nothing was taken in the incident.
The hapless robber fled the scene through yards, she said.
Will they never learn?
A couple of Michigan tourists gambling at the Seneca Niagara Casino had their van broken into one night last week, and, like seemingly every tourist whose vehicle is broken into at the Seneca Niagara Casino, they made the mistake of leaving lots of valuables in the van.
There was a Toshiba laptop computer, gold jewelry, a purse stuffed with credit cards, and a suitcase full of clothes, all valued at $1,250.
A broken screwdriver found at the scene by casino security is believed to have been used to break the window on the van. Casino management said that no surveillance cameras were covering the area of the parking lot where the van was parked.
Breast pump stolen
A 45-minute repast at local restaurant resulted in the loss of a breast pump last week.
A breast pump is a mechanical device that extracts milk from the breasts of a lactating woman. Breast pumps may be manual devices powered by hand or foot movements or electrical devices. It is not known as of press time what exact model the woman lost.
In any event, the distraught woman called police to the eatery and told them the breast pump had been in a bag in the back seat of her Honda Pilot but, when she went to her car after eating, she found a window smashed and the breast pump gone.
Valued at $350, the breast pump will likely not be of much use to the thief who stole it.
The incident was the second car break-in reported in the parking lot last week alone.
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Nov 26, 2013