There is no way, absolutely none, that the Buffalo Bills should lose in San Francisco on Sunday.
Yes, Willis McGahee probably won’t play, and Travis Henry is definitely out. But these 49ers are so pathetic, their season so long since lost, that it won’t matter if Tom Donahoe has to call Joe Cribbs and talk him into taking a few handoffs.
Save a pair of 31-28 wins over Arizona, the 49ers would be perfectly positioned to become the National Football League’s first 0-16 ensemble.
So whether or not Shaud Williams, Joe Burns and newly signed Dante Brown can muster a consistent running game might not matter all that much. And that might be one of the only times you’ll read such blasphemy in this space.
Because when the other guys are counting on Ken Dorsey, a few big plays by the defense are almost inevitable. With any contribution at all from the special teams and a few Drew Bledsoe strikes, it should be over by halftime.
Not to pick on Dorsey, who threw four picks last week in a 26-16 loss to Washington, but weak-armed and interception-prone isn’t an ideal combination for a quarterback in a ball-control passing attack.
I guess that’s what the 49ers try to be, anyway. They’re certainly not much of a running team, with underachiever Kevan Barlow and someone named Maurice Hicks taking turns getting stuffed at the line.
The defense is a little better than the offense, but not nearly good enough to win on its own. By blending the mediocre and the pathetic, San Francisco achieved the distinction of becoming the first -- and at press time, only -- NFC team officially eliminated from the playoff race.
If it were possible to fire owners, 49ers fans would have whacked John York right after he dumped Steve Mariucci for Dennis Erickson.
Buffalo’s injury woes at running back make the 11-point spot tempting, but that would mean counting on San Francisco for anything. Bills, 34-14.
Green Bay at Minnesota (-3): A Christmas Eve gift for the incorrigible bettor who just can’t wait until Sunday. Vikings, 30-26.
Oakland at Kansas
City (-7.5): Wait, did I say Sunday? What was I thinking?
With a pair of regular-season games on Christmas Day, it’s official:
The NFL is bigger than God. Chiefs, 38-34.
Denver (-4) at Tennessee: But not even a Christmas miracle will help these two defenses. Titans, 40-34.
Baltimore at Pittsburgh (-5.5): The Steelers ensure their Jan. 2 visit to Orchard Park will mean a lot to the Bills, but nothing to them. Steelers, 23-7.
Chicago at Detroit (-6): Two 5-and-9s fighting for their playoff lives. Yuck. Lions, 29-14.
N.Y. Giants at Cincinnati (-6): Bengals, please finish off the Giants for us? Bengals, 31-17.
San Diego at Indianapolis (-7): Gregg Williams has been getting all sorts of praise for his work with Washington’s defense, but Wade Phillips might be doing a better job with less big-name talent in San Diego. And I’m thinking he watched how Baltimore kept Peyton Manning somewhat in check last week. Chargers, 24-23.
Houston at Jacksonville (-7): The Bills will need help from the Raiders next week, because they’re not getting it from the Texans on Sunday. Jaguars, 24-16.
Carolina at Tampa Bay (-3): The Panthers are the best of the pretenders for the NFC’s last playoff spot, and might just make some noise in January. Panthers, 19-17.
Atlanta at New Orleans (-4): The Falcons are locked into the No. 2 seed, but the least they could do is eliminate the Saints. Falcons, 23-21.
New England (-2.5) at N.Y. Jets: Hopefully, Chad Pennington will have stopped whining by Sunday. Yes, covering overpaid, injury-prone jerks is quite a privilege, Chad. You might want to focus on getting your team to the playoffs, which is no sure thing. Patriots, 24-10.
Washington (-1.5) at Dallas: If you like field goals, you’ll love this meeting of 5-9 “contenders.” Cowboys, 9-6.
Arizona at Seattle (-7): This is not a misprint – if the Cardinals win their last two games and the Seahawks and Rams each lose their last two, they win the NFC West. Really. Cardinals, 18-14.
Cleveland at Miami (-7): OK, so both the Browns and Dolphins are worse than anyone expected. But who thought them playing on Sunday night in Week 16 was a good idea? Dolphins, 21-6.
Philadelphia at St. Louis (-3): There must be a reason the Rams are favored. I just can’t think of it. Eagles, 26-14.
(Last week: 10-6 overall, 10-6 against the spread. Season: 145-79 overall, 119-102-3 against the spread.)
| Niagara Falls Reporter | www.niagarafallsreporter.com | Dec. 24 2004 |