Niagara Falls Jokes

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Niagara Falls School Board president Nick Vilardo was the sole “No” vote last month on bringing sex ed to Niagara Falls High School, which has nearly the highest rates of teen pregnancy and venereal disease in the entire state. When asked about it, President Vilardo said it wasn’t so much the classroom instruction that he objected to, it was the homework!

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Actually, Mr. Vilardo was most upset and angry over the fact that Planned Parenthood was selected to provide some of the training. He was so anxious about the school board’s decision to bring on Planned Parenthood that he had to take an extra Viagra that night.

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At Wine on Third on New Year’s Eve, Mayor Dyster had a couple of drinks and announced to the entire bar and that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, he wanted everybody to stand next to the one person who had done the most to improve the quality of life here in Niagara Falls. It turned out to be kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartenders was almost crushed to death.

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Politicians like Mayor Dyster think New Year’s Eve should be every day of the year. You make a lot of New Years resolutions in the form of promises to drunk voters, that you have no intention of keeping, and the very next morning, as soon as everyone wakes up, you start breaking them.

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Sam Hoyt was seen at the New Year’s Eve celebration in downtown Buffalo the other night. We heard that he recognized a young female government intern attending the festivities, sidled up to her and and asked, “How would you like to see two balls drop?”

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“Help! Help! Won’t someone please help me?” cried out Sam Hoyt a few minutes before midnight on New Year’s Eve. “The expiration date on my condoms is December, 2017!”

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