Niagara ReporterWe wanted to tell our readers a road construction joke about Lockport Street, but we’re still working on it.
***
Mayor Dyster and his aide Seth Piccirillo are walking along Lockport Street when the mayor falls down a manhole.
Piccirillo shouts down: “What shall I do?” and Mayor Dyster barks back: “Call me an ambulance!”
Seth then starts to jump up and down, screaming: “The Mayor is an ambulance, the Mayor is an ambulance!”
***
Q: Why did the chicken cross Lockport Street?
A: Because the sex offender was chasing it.
***
Q: Why did John Ceretto cross Lockport Street?
A: He was switching sides again.
***
A foreman for Accadia Site Contracting, which was paving Lockport Street until it recently walked off the job, died in a tragic accident on his 40th birthday. He ascends to heaven where he’s greeted at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter.
Saint Peter shakes the guys hand warmly, and says “Congratulations!”
The foreman is a little confused. “Congratulations for what?” he asks.
“Congratulations for what!?” says Saint Peter. “We’re celebrating the fact you lived to the grand old age of 160.”
The foreman says, “But that’s not right – I only lived to be 40.”
“That’s impossible,” says Saint Peter. “We added up your time sheets!”
A very contentious and emotional mediation between the two entities in charge of paving Lockport Street, Accadia and National Grid, is conducted by Mayor Dyster, who holds a PhD in International Diplomacy.
After several years, the talks are coming to a successful resolution and Mayor Dyster thinks the time is ripe for an apology, and he gently raises this possibility to both the parties.
They look at each other; exchange nods and, looking crestfallen, say. “We’re very sorry that you were our mediator.”
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