Niagara Falls jokes

According to the National Weather Service, the first lake effect snow event of the season will probably start today or tomorrow. Lake effect snowstorms have in the past dumped several feet of snow on the area. It’s been predicted that when this snowfall is finally over, everything’s going to be whiter than Lewiston!

***

Yo’ mama so stupid, she thought this week’s Blizzard was a new item at Dairy Queen!

***

Many years ago Paul Dyster as a little boy was sitting on Santa’s lap, and Santa asked him what he wanted for Christmas.

“A toy train set!” shouted the gleeful young lad.

“I just might be able to instruct my elves to include a brand new shiny train set on my sleigh for a certain good boy in Niagara Falls – was there anything else you wanted?” asked Santa.

“Yes!” said the exuberant lad, “A $43 million International Railway Station and Intermodal Transportation Center to put it in!”

lionel

***

A Niagara Falls resident posted on Facebook about the Syrian refugees who may soon make Niagara Falls their home, and wrote that he thinks it really important that they learn English right away so that they can fit in better. One of his friends commented, “That’s the goodest idea I’ve heard yet!”

***

It was Christmas Eve, and a Syrian refugee couple, with the wife nine months pregnant, arrived in Niagara Falls and tried to get a room at the new Hamister Hotel.

The desk clerk looked at his computer screen and said, “Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.”

The Syrian man,  said, “But your sign says that you have vacancies.”

The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly, “You know that we do not admit Syrians. Now if you will try the other side of town”

The Syrian man stated, “I’ll have you know I converted from Islam to your religion.”

The desk clerk said, “Really? Then let me give you a little test. How was Jesus born?”

He replied, “He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little town called Bethlehem”

“Very good,” replied the Hamister Hotel clerk. “Tell me more”

“He was born in a manger.”

“That’s right,” said the hotel clerk, “And why was he born in a manger?”

The Syrian said loudly, “Because a friend like you at the hotel wouldn’t give a Syrian couple a room for the night!”

Theater Masks

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