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The purpose of this column, to appear regularly in the Niagara Falls Reporter, is to provide insight into the common struggles we all face and to create a well-informed community, able to make well-informed choices.
Life's emotional challenges can be thought of as a continuum from manageable to unmanageable to overwhelming. Each of us handles these challenges differently at different times in our lives. When a challenge or traumatic life stressor occurs, how we perceive it, how we believe others perceive it and how others express perceiving it, determine how we go about dealing with it. Being laid off from a job may be viewed by an emotionally healthy person as an opportunity to better himself. On the other hand, if that person already was at an emotional low-point in life, losing a job could be the final straw.
Our ability to cope has to do with how resilient we are. Resilience is the ability to adjust to change. It is not automatic in everyone. Resilience comes from a combination of factors, which include, but are not limited to, biological influences, relationships with family and friends, community or societal expectations, educational achievements and emotional stability. Also, how we have learned to handle past life stressors either by example or actual experience has an impact on how we will handle them in the future. If we have endured these challenges successfully, we are more likely to feel positive and confident that we can do it again. If we have not been successful in conquering these challenges, we are more likely to feel negative and doubtful.
We can find ways to become more resilient. First, we have to recognize that what we are doing is not getting us what we want. This realization creates a desire to change, to break the cycle of negative patterns to which we have become accustomed and with which we are comfortable. Stepping out of our comfort zone is not easy and can be scary. There are uncertainties about what will happen next. The question we need to keep in mind is, what if this change does make a positive impact by getting me what I want and as a result, improves my life?
When seeking ways to create change, we need resources for support. These resources may include friends, family and community.
Listed on this page is a list of services, agencies and hotlines available. I will keep you up to date on changes and additions in future articles.
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