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It's time for another Answer-and-Question session with Carnac the Magnificent. A series of questions, each pertaining to the world of professional sports, have been placed inside individually-sealed white envelopes. Carnac will call upon his amazing powers of clairvoyance to provide answers to each question before the envelopes are opened. Remember, Carnac has no pre-knowledge of the questions, as they have been buried, until 12:01 a.m. today, inside mayonnaise jars in the back yard of Niagara Falls Reporter Publisher Bruce Battaglia.
Carnac places the first envelope to his forehead.
Answer: Flutie Flakes.
Question: Why does little Dougie use "Head & Shoulders"?
"May Bills running back Travis Henry give your 14-year-old daughter a ride home from the gas station."
Carnac readies the second envelope.
Answer: Barry Bonds.
Question: What do the home run king's family have to buy every time he gets arrested?
Carnac has the third envelope.
Answer: Rob Ray.
Question: What would you do if your friend Ray hit the lotto?
Carnac has the next envelope.
Answer: Jumbo Elliott.
Question: What did the kid from "E.T." become after he ate too many Reese's Pieces?
"May Marv Albert dress up in drag and leave love bites all over your back." Carnac quickly fires out the next answer.
Answer: Erik Flowers.
Question: What does Mr. Estrada do in his garden?
"May O.J. run through your house yelling, 'The Juice is loose, the Juice is loose!'"
Carnac hesitates momentarily with the next envelope.
Answer: Peerless Price.
Question: How much did Texas oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II ultimately pay for his marriage to gold-digger Anna Nicole Smith?
Carnac quickly moves on to the next envelope.
Answer: Chris Fuamatu-ma'afala.
Question: What name could you never guess on "Wheel of Fortune" without buying a ton of vowels?
"May Andre Rison's girlfriend, Lisa 'One Eye' Lopez, throw a barbecue at your house."
Carnac has the next envelope ready.
Answer: Adam Oates.
Question: Name the official breakfast cereal of the Garden of Eden.
Carnac smiles to himself as he places the next envelope in front of his forehead.
Answer: Picabo Street.
Question: What is the "Red Light District" also known as?
Carnac gets with the spirit of the season with the next two envelopes.
Answer: Garth Snow.
Question: What falls on Christmas in "Wayne's World"?
Answer: Bimbo Coles.
Question: What does Santa put in the stockings of naughty blondes?
"May Dominik Hasek teach your child's English class."
Carnac places the next envelope to his forehead.
Answer: Byron Dafoe.
Question: What should you keep telling yourself if you're fighting Byron?
Carnac swiftly places the next envelope in position.
Answer: Popeye Jones.
Question: What alias does Olive Oyl's main squeeze use when they check into seedy motels?
Carnac forges onward.
Answer: Bonzi Wells.
Question: How do you keep those small Japanese trees irrigated?
"May the American Men's Olympic Hockey Team be the first group to check into your new hotel."
Carnac is down to the last few envelopes.
Answer: Randy Moss.
Question: What type of fungus grows under Austin Powers?
Answer: He shoots, he scores!
Question: Describe Keith Richards' heroin cycle.
Carnac now has in his hands the final envelope.
Answer: Bobby Knight, John Daly and Rob Johnson.
Question: Name a Hoosier, a boozer and a loser.