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It's time for another Answer and Question session with Carnac the Magnificent. A series of questions--all of which pertain to our fair city of Niagara Falls--have been placed inside individually sealed white envelopes. Carnac will call upon his amazing powers of clairvoyance to provide answers to each question before the envelopes are opened. Remember, Carnac has no prior knowledge of the questions, as they have been buried, until 12:01 a.m. today, inside mayonnaise jars in the back yard of Niagara Falls Reporter Publisher Bruce Battaglia.
Carnac places the first envelope to his forehead.
A. Cataracts
Q. What car do Japanese businessmen arrive in to view the Falls?
Carnac has the second envelope.
A. Devil's Hole
Q. What do the financiers of AquaFalls secretly call their project?
"May a city pothole the size of Rhode Island swallow your car whole."
Carnac places the next envelope to his forehead.
A. Fort Niagara
Q. What does boarded-up lower Main Street look like to tourists?
"May you have body odor that smells like Buffalo Avenue on a windless day."
Carnac hesitates momentarily with the next envelope.
A. The Press Box
Q. What would a Mike Hudson-Terry Shaw under-card bout on the next Baby Joe Mesi boxing extravaganza be billed as?
Carnac quickly grabs the next envelope.
A. The Niagara Gorge
Q. What happens nightly at the Ponderosa "All-You-Can-Eat" dinner buffet?
"May your portfolio be converted into City of Niagara Falls junk bonds."
Carnac is ready with the next envelope.
A. Lackey Plaza
Q. What is the Mayor's pet name for the City Council?
Carnac swiftly reaches for the next envelope.
A. Como
Q. What was the most common mispronunciation of former Governor Mario's last name by Western New Yorkers?
Carnac is feeling the groove now.
A. Niagara Falls Redevelopment
Q. What's your favorite oxymoron?
"May the shingles on your house be replaced by the same people that put the roof on the Earl W. Bridges library."
A. Rainbow Bridge
Q. What card game do members of the Rev. Jessie Jackson's Coalition play at their annual picnic?
"May Lorena Bobbitt show up at your door and offer you a free Ginsu knife demonstration."
Carnac is getting down to the final few envelopes.
A. The Horseshoe Falls
Q. How do you know when your luck finally has run out?
A. The American Falls
Q. What is the only plausible scenario in which we do not claim gold in the balance beam event at the Summer Olympics?
A. The Bridal Veil Falls
Q. What must happen before a groom truly can get busy on a Niagara Falls honeymoon?
Carnac now is holding in his hand the final envelope.
A. Hugh Grant, Marlboro and the Niagara Gazette.
Q. Name a bloke, a smoke and a joke.