The venerable Oxford English Dictionary was republished last week. The new edition is a 20-volume set featuring 22,000 pages crammed with 500,000 words.
As usual, some new words were added, most coming from street slang or relating to cutting-edge technology. For instance, the word "bootylicious" can now properly be used to describe a female with a perfectly formed rear end, and "da bomb" can be utilized to communicate an overall stunning visual package presented to the world by a guy or gal.
Also included are the war terms, "daisy cutter" and "WMD." The term "24/7" has been added, as has the Harry Potter words for non-magical folk, "muggles."
While the good people at the OED do their best to keep the dictionary contemporary, there are some important, hip, new words that they forgot. Never fear, dear Reporter readers, as I have compiled the words that you need to know and offer them on these pages for the first time anywhere.
Without further ado, here are Croisdale's newly recognized words for 2003.
The Hack Pack will henceforth be used to refer to the huddling mass of smokers who must now stand outside of all public buildings -- including bars -- to get their nicotine fix. In winter months, these people will be referred to as the Ice Pack.
Chesterlookers refers to men whose gaze remains well south of eye level when engaging in conversation with top-heavy women.
The term Icestickle is now perfectly acceptable to use in describing a piece of ice that adheres to the bottom of a drinking glass and refuses to be tapped or swirled free. The only way to release an Icestickle to a waiting mouth is to insert one's index finger into the glass and pry it loose.
A Stooperpooper is a 2-year-old who can maintain direct eye contact with you while he or she squats in the middle of the living room and conjures up another submission for the Diaper Genie.
A new phrase has been coined to describe philandering husbands who are caught red-handed by their wives and try to get back into their good graces by proffering expensive and showy gifts. This strategy will be known as pulling a Kobe.
Blinkerstinkers is the new word to describe elderly drivers who keep you guessing for miles by constantly signaling for a left turn that they never seem to make.
On the same subject, AARPCarp can now be used to describe the incessant habit possessed by anyone over the age of 65 to ask a clerk if the store they are in offers a senior discount.
Rhetorical Rebounder is a person who answers your query of "How's it going?" with any response other than "Pretty good, and you?"
An Express Buster is a person who takes a full cart of groceries through the "Seven Items or Less" aisle at the supermarket.
Campaign Stain describes the aftermath of promises made on the campaign trail once a candidate is elected and realizes that saying it is more easily accomplished than doing it.
Do you know someone who performs her job at a mediocre level, but is handsomely rewarded because she looks good doing it? If so, here's a handy word to describe her -- that girl is a dyed-in-the-wool Kournikova.
Some people are just more gullible than others. For instance, what type of person goes on national television to tell a lover that they've been unfaithful? Even worse is the mistreated one's friend or sibling who charges from backstage like a rodeo bull out of the pen looking to take a swing at the unrepentant miscreant. This person now has his or her own moniker -- let them be known as SpringerRingers.
Not all new words are borne from national events. Our very own mayor of Niagara Falls is the inspiration for this last word, meant to describe a small event that is ballyhooed beyond its merits -- such as a miniature golf course being described as "Disneyesque." Henceforth, such overstatements will be known as Herroneriffic.
Feel free to incorporate these words into your everyday vocabulary. You know the old adage, "Use it three times and it's yours." If you have a new word or phrase of your own that you think should be added to the general lexicon, send it along to me at the e-mail address below. I'll forward all submissions to the editors at the Oxford English Dictionary. Who knows, maybe one of our words will make it into the 2004 edition.
I can see it now, AquaFalls will come to be known as "any promise that proves to be nothing more than a big hole in the ground."
| Niagara Falls Reporter | www.niagarafallsreporter.com | August 26 2003 |