You gotta have faith -- hard to argue with that old chestnut, especially if you've ever been in a foxhole or gotten pinned to the corner at a party by some nutcase who wished he still was and couldn't help but share with you every bloody and gory detail of his time "baggin' and taggin' for Uncle Sam."
Faith can mean so many things -- it can speak to your religion, your resilience or your blind allegiance to the belief that goodness resides at the core of all humanity. Faith is also the name of a dog, one that will retire this year after 10 years of service to mankind.
Maybe you've heard of Faith the dog. Oprah featured the amazing tale of Faith and brought her story to millions. For the uninitiated, Faith was born in 2002, just before Christmas. The Chow mix was underdeveloped, weak and had only three legs. One of her front legs was missing and the other was deformed and unusable.
Faith's mother did what thousands of years of evolution has taught animals to do when they give birth to a baby unprepared and unable to compete for food or to defend itself against attack -- she tried to smother the puppy.
The son of Faith's current owner intervened and rescued the canine. An operation was performed to remove the nonworking appendage, leaving Faith with just her two hind legs. After months of training, Faith actually learned to walk on her back legs like a human being.
Now before I go a word further, I need to state that I am an animal lover and protector in general and a dog enthusiast in particular. The recent scandal at the SPCA here has me seeing red. I like dogs better than I like people and the divide between the two isn't even close.
I would almost always take the companionship and company of a dog over that of a person. A dog has never lied to me or stabbed me in the back. I've never known a dog to put on airs or to pretend to be something other than what it really is.
I've never met a dog with a drug or drinking problem -- in fact, with the exception of the occasional Beggin' Strip, dogs aren't prone to the weakness of having to alter their consciousness just to make it through to the next sunrise.
Dogs don't judge, they don't care if their owners are rich or poor. Dogs don't care what race you are, what your sexual orientation is or what type of advanced degree you do or don't have hanging on your wall.
Dogs are sad when you have to leave, always, and are overjoyed when you return, again always. Dogs never try to goad you into arguments or blame you for their position and place in the world.
If you lose your job, your friends and your family may shun you, but your dog would see it as more bonding time for the two of you. If someone puts your heart through a shredder, your dog has the glue to mend it. If you look at the sky and see only gray, your dog will look at it with you and you'll see only the rainbows.
Having said all that, I feel the need to now say this -- Faith the dog freaks me the hell out.
I know I can't be the only one. I know I should be happy that her life was spared and that she adapted to a whole new way of ambulatory movement, but looking at that dog get up and walk gives me the creeps in a way that few other things ever have.
If you haven't seen Faith in action go check her out on YouTube. This dog hops up on her back legs and traipses around like Gene Kelly in "Anchors Aweigh." The majority of winos and crackheads that amble along the streets of Niagara Falls can only dream of walking as expertly as this dog does.
Something about it is disconcerting and wrong on a deeply disturbing level. It reminds me of the climatic scene in George Orwell's "Animal Farm" when the laboring farm animals get their first look at Squealer and Napoleon and the other pigs walking on two legs for the first time.
What if other dogs see Faith and get crazy ideas of their own? I'm sure it's not lost on the populace that dogs are far superior to us in many ways. They are faster, stronger (pound for pound), fiercer, they have superior hearing and olfactory skills. The only thing we've got on dogs is that we can walk upright and have an opposable thumb that allows us to properly grasp things like a whip or gun that can keep them at bay.
The last thing the world needs is dogs getting any sort of idea that they should be looking at the world from a vantage point any higher than two feet off the ground. My goodness, what's next, cats swimming past you as you do a lap in the pool at the YMCA?
People need to stop interfering with the long-established laws of nature. How long before some bleeding heart decides to rescue a deformed alligator and you see it sauntering toward you on two legs as you shop for a new pair of cowboy boots made from the skin of its late cousin? Try talking your way out of that awkward situation, why don't you?
Can you imagine an upright hyena between you and the grub at the buffet at Ponderosa? I didn't think so. Or how about an erect yak signing in just ahead of you at Supercuts? Do you really want to tip your head back into the sink after that big boy has had a shampoo?
"Oh, that's nonsense," you say. "That kind of thing could never happen."
That's what people said before this Faith started waddling around like Nipsey Russell in "The Wiz" after they slid some oil to him. Oh, and make sure you watch the video of the dog eating. Her food is put in a bowl and placed on a pedestal and she eats standing erect. You won't ever eat standing at one of those high pub tables ever again, I assure you that much.
Booking Faith for a function costs $2,500, plus expenses. Makes me wonder what I could fetch if I trained a human to jump through a hoop while simultaneously catching a Frisbee in her mouth?
Faith is "retiring" at the end of 2012. Maybe she'll spend her golden years taking long walks on the beach and scaring the feathers off of the unsuspecting seagulls. Here's wishing the two-legged phenom a long and happy sojourn.
I know that a lot of soft-touches will disagree with me, Faith, but I think the sheep in "Animal Farm" had it right all along:
"Four legs good, two legs bad."
Just got back from a wonderful week spent in sunny St. Petersburg with my oldest son, Zach. We flew out of the newly refurbished Niagara Falls Airport into a similarly sized one in Clearwater, and I can't say enough about the virtues of direct flights and easy-to-access airports.
The flight was with Allegiant Airlines, and the reasonable fares combined with exceptional service made for an enjoyable experience. Upon returning to the Falls, a piece of my luggage came off the carousel with a broken and missing handle.
I reported the damage to the attendant on duty and was instructed on how to make a claim with the airline. Within 24 hours, I received a call and the agent informed me that a brand-new piece of replacement luggage would be mailed out immediately. I had it in my possession two days later.
It was the type of customer service that America used to be built upon and it spoke volumes about the commitment that the small airline has to quality and customer satisfaction.
Thanks, Allegiant. You've got a believer in me, and Niagara Falls, N.Y., has a business partner it can truly be proud of.
| Niagara Falls Reporter | www.niagarafallsreporter.com | Jan. 31 2012 |