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Even at one of the most solemn moments in anyone's life, Berry St. Onge can't resist goofing around.
Instead of placing a wedding ring on the finger of his about-to-be wife, Sharon, as instructed by Rev. John Wetherwax, St. Onge presses it to her forehead.
Holding in a laugh, she whispers, "St. Onge, don't be a pain in the butt."
After exchanging rings properly, Wetherwax declares Berry and Sharon husband and wife -- a moment neither was sure would ever happen.
St. Onge and the former Sharon Joseph originally figured on getting hitched July 4. But an April doctor's appointment changed those plans, and their lives.
Berry was diagnosed with throat cancer, and surgery the next month left him unable to speak. Further tests showed the disease had spread to his lymph nodes and lungs. Faced with more surgery and treatment that doctors told him had minimal odds of success, he decided to make the most of his time.
That included marrying Sharon, his companion of five years. They decided to set the date for Aug. 1 -- Berry's 52nd birthday.
"This means so much, because they told him he wouldn't make it to this day," says Sharon, wearing a white, three-quarter length dress and a pearl headpiece with a veil. "And he did. He proved them all wrong."
And plenty of others helped make it possible. Workers and volunteers from Niagara Hospice, which has been providing St. Onge with care since June, helped make the arrangements. One tracked down the top hat he requested for the occasion, finally finding one at a costume shop in Clarence.
Friends and family chipped in, making food for the reception and decorating the site. Bob and Mary Kay Wilson provided the location -- the new patio of their Cudaback Avenue tavern, Cocktail Bob's. The Wilsons hosted a second wedding Saturday afternoon, when Dennis Gagner and Lois Fortier tied the knot.
As their big day approached, Berry and Sharon shared the same feelings as every other bride and groom. When Julie Taylor, a Hospice social worker, asked him how things were coming along, he wrote on his ever-present pad of paper, "I'm overwhelmed."
While the wedding gave them the chance to celebrate their love, getting ready for it provided Berry and Sharon a lift during a difficult time.
"We try to help them to facilitate goals, live life to its fullest and not give up," says Marge Korlikowski, Berry's Hospice nurse and one of Sharon's bridesmaids. "When everything became a reality and the planning really started, the focus came off of the illness and more toward life."
And it shows.
"He's looking better than the first day I saw them," Korlikowski says.
With his top hat and tails, St. Onge handles the sweltering mid-afternoon heat with more aplomb than reporters in short sleeves and shorts, embracing most of the 40-some guests and communicating with his bride-to-be with simple gestures that she always understands.
Wetherwax, director of spiritual care for Niagara Hospice, says it's the first wedding he's conducted involving a patient.
"The true essence of hospice is that this isn't any different than anyone else getting married," Wetherwax said. "It's traditional, happy and joyous. And they love each other."
The guests concur.
"It was a beautiful, traditional wedding and everybody's happy for them," says Mark Place, a longtime friend of the couple.
"I'm so happy for them -- look at this," says Korlikowski, pointing to arm covered with goose bumps, despite the 90-degree temperature. "I can see there's so much love between them."
And nobody's more joyous than the St. Onges, who hold hands behind their backs during the ceremony.
"All I feel is happiness," Sharon says. "I had all my friends and family around -- just happiness."
Asked for his thoughts on the day, Berry ponders for a minute before writing in a reporter's notebook.
"Best thing in my life."
| Niagara Falls Reporter | www.niagarafallsreporter.com | August 6 2002 |