City Hall Jokes

Hot on the heels of the surprise announcement that a methadone clinic will be setting up shop in the former school district offices on 6th Street, the Reporter is chasing a hot rumor that Dyster’s city hall is going to locate an ISIS owned Burger King on Rainbow Boulevard.
The 2016 city budget – that was approved in secrecy on November 17 – has been dubbed “the stealth budget.” That’s because just like the stealth bomber people don’t realize it’s there until things start exploding and everything goes up in smoke.
While Santa Claus disappeared two weeks ago during the Dyster-Owens Holly Trolly there’s no truth to the rumor that he disappeared inside the Trott Building methadone clinic.
However, it’s true that Santa was seen waiting for a bus on the corner of Main and Cleveland with Totes McGoat earlier that day.
Paul Dyster, Totes McGoat and Santa Claus walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and yells, “No creeps allowed! Totes and Santa, you can stay.”
There’s lots of talk as to whether the city hall men’s club will finally allow Kristen Grandinetti to become council chairperson. Councilmen Walker and Touma said they have no problem with a female taking the chairman’s seat. They said, “Our only request is that the person holding the position possess an X and Y chromosome.”
Will this guy ever admit to knowing anything about anything? Mayor Dyster didn’t know about the loss of 200 jobs at DuPont/Chemours. He hadn’t a clue about the planned methadone clinic. He didn’t know about the plans for the Y becoming a homeless shelter until the sale of the building was finalized. And the true cause of the frozen water lines on 72nd Street was a mystery to him until a secret engineering report that he was privy to from day one eventually became public. Is he that out of touch or is he that devious? We report you decide, but you’re stuck with him for four more years.


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