It's one thing to rely on your defense. Abandoning it altogether, as the rest of the Buffalo Bills did on Sunday in Tampa, is something else altogether.
With J.P. Losman didn't just look like a quarterback making his second National Football League start on Sunday. At times, particularly when he wandered out of the back of his own end zone to award the game's first points to the Buccaneers, he appeared to be a lad from a land where football is what we call soccer. One who had inadvertently wandered into Buffalo's locker room earlier in the day and been handed a uniform and playbook.
But we'll get back to Losman later. Buffalo's offensive line and defense recalled one of the great quotes issued by Tampa Bay's first coach, John McKay, during the 26-game losing streak that infamously led off the franchise's history.
"We didn't block very well," the former USC coaching legend said after watching his team, clad in bright orange and white with a flamboyantly swashbuckling pirate on their helmets, bumble through another defeat. "But we made up for it by not tackling."
In this case, though, the first failure led to the second.
Overwhelmed by Tampa Bay's front wall, Buffalo's offensive line couldn't create any space for Willis McGahee to carve out the chunks of yardage the Bills needed to keep drives going, or even get them started.
While the line did provide Losman with time to throw for most of the first half, that was largely because the Bucs seldom blitzed on the first few series, preferring to fall back in the now-he's-open, now-he's-not zone schemes that typify defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin's system.
Those coverages are meant to rattle quarterbacks, particularly young ones. On Losman's first throw, the second play of the game, future Hall-of-Fame linebacker Derrick Brooks baited his prey perfectly. Losman thought tight end Ryan Neufeld was open, at least until he released the ball. Then, there was Brooks, nearly coming up with an interception. Losman was never the same again. Gun-shy after Brooks' near-steal, his aim took the rest of the day off. He wound up completing one pass for zero yards to his tight ends all afternoon and no throws to anyone except Josh Reed until late in the third quarter.
When you can't run or throw, all you can do is punt. Which Buffalo did quite frequently.
On the Bills' third offensive series, they faced a second-and-18 from their own 12-yard line, precariously close to their own end zone.
"Punt!" pleaded a fan taking in the game at Brofest, an annual gathering coordinated by Mark, a frequent BillStuff contributor whose penchant for addressing virtually everyone, regardless of age or gender, as "Bro" gave the event its title.
Buffalo didn't, of course, until running a couple more futile plays. As on all of their first five series, the Bills wound up sending Brian Moorman out to boot it away without registering a single first down.
What was once known as a "quick kick" during the leather-helmet days might not have been a bad idea on the fifth possession, early in the second quarter. A Tampa punt put the ball at Buffalo's 1-yard line, and two plays nudged it ahead just enough to leave Losman facing a third-and-7 from his own 4.
Rather than safely run the ball, or throw a quick pass that wouldn't require their inexperienced quarterback to wander too far into the end zone, someone on Buffalo's sideline thought it made sense to put him in the shotgun, which put him behind his own goal line to start the play.
The Bucs, predictably, quickly crumbled the pocket, and Losman wandered back and back and back, finally leaving the playing surface entirely.
The resulting safety gave Tampa Bay a 2-0 lead. Buffalo's defense, which to that point had certainly done its share, crumbled on the ensuing drive.
Rookie running back Carnell "Cadillac" Williams burst up the middle for 23 yards on the first play and carried eight times for 46 of the 67 yards the Bucs covered en route to the game's first touchdown.
When middle linebacker London Fletcher left the game with a hamstring injury and the 91-degree heat got to morbidly obese defensive tackle Sam Adams, the defense collapsed.
Despite a foot injury that sidelined him briefly early in the third quarter, Williams spent the rest of the day gutting a depleted and demoralized defense. Before the safety, Buffalo limited Tampa Bay's first-round draft choice to 25 yards on eight carries. After, he churned out 103 on 16 attempts, leading a Buccaneer stampede that piled up 191 rushing yards and kept the ball for nearly 39 of the game's 60 minutes.
The way Losman and the rest of the offense played, it was probably just as well. The Bills sustained drives twice all afternoon -- once just before halftime, when they moved to a field goal against a slightly softer version of Kiffin's two-deep zone and again at the end, when Losman was able to dink them to Tampa Bay's 9-yard line against a just-get-it-over-with prevent defense.
The game got so dull by the third quarter that a dice game broke out at Brofest. A rather pleasant diversion known as LCR inspired far more passion among the assembled than did the football game.
So named for the dice, which bear one of the letters on each of three sides and a single dot on the other three, LCR could be the perfect gambling diversion for one very simple reason -- it's almost impossible to screw up.
Each player puts three single dollar bills on the table to open. Roll an L or an R, and you pass one dollar in that direction. A roll of C sends a dollar to the pot, while a dot means you keep the buck. At least until the next pass. Last player with a dollar remaining wins.
Only three mistakes are possible -- rolling more dice than you have dollars, causing one to leave the table entirely or somehow missing your turn. Thus, there's absolutely no skill or strategy involved.
Part of the game's beauty is that this doesn't stop trash-talking after a foe loses his or her money, nor does it prevent meaningless, yet sincere-sounding praise, such as "Great roll!"
(As Jim, a longtime LCR aficionado pointed out, the betting is of the parimutuel variety, meaning that the winner collects all the money, with no "house" taking a cut. And the party took place in the private room of a Buffalo establishment, not the general bar area. Still, in order to avoid jeopardizing anyone's liquor license, said establishment will remain nameless, breaking with the time-honored BS tradition of brazen plugging.)
Journalistic responsibilities kept the BillStuff coverage team out of the LCR fray until after the football game, when we promptly lost in our only foray.
It was a tough day all around. Our bold prediction of an unbeaten season vanished into the Florida humidity and Rian Lindell's field goal moments before halftime, Buffalo's only points of the day, cost us $50 in the Brofest pool.
But as grim as the game itself was, it could have been worse. At least, Losman didn't melt down thoroughly and start chucking interceptions or get unduly roughed up by the Tampa Bay rush. He didn't sulk after getting pulled for Kelly Holcomb, either, and actually played slightly better after his return (albeit against the aforementioned prevent defense).
The test now will be how he recovers from being terrorized by one of the league's best defenses. He'll either learn from the experience, or he'll begin the sort of painful regression Bills fans experienced during the Todd Collins and Rob Johnson eras.
Buffalo's season depends on the former occurring. After all, a great -- or at least pretty good -- defense is a terrible thing to waste.
BILLS MVP: Um, Lindell made his only kick.
THE OTHER GUYS' MVP: Before the draft, the experts agreed that Williams was the second-best Auburn running back in the pool. Miami took Ronnie Brown second overall, three spots ahead of Williams. After two weeks, Williams has run for 276 yards. Brown has 92.
STAT OF THE WEEK: At least the Bills were better behaved. The Bucs didn't get any home-field advantage from the refs, getting penalized 13 times for 99 yards, compared to Buffalo's three for 20. So that's something, I guess.
WING REVIEW: Mark, our generous to-a-fault host, ordered up pans full of well-cooked, nicely sauced mediums and barbecues, served with perfectly creamy blue cheese. Due to the anonymity explained above, though, the cook must go uncredited. The stuffed-hot-pepper pizza from Just Pizza made a perfect complement. Wings: B-plus. Pizza: A-minus.
UNIFORM REVIEW: We didn't really delve into it last week, but BillStuff firmly believes that there's no reason for Buffalo to ever return to the lamely striped, hideously numbered embarrassments that will be forever linked with Drew Bledsoe's time in Buffalo. The pounding Buffalo took Sunday removes any hint of superstition from the throwback unis, but there's something to be said for dressing with class.
BS FAN OF THE WEEK: Bob, known as "The Guitar Doctor" in Bro parlance, won the LCR game in which we took part, and the $63 pot that went with. This despite thinking he had no chance and stepping away from the table, nearly missing a turn late in the game. "I was drinking," he said in a tone that was equal parts apology and explanation.
| Niagara Falls Reporter | www.niagarafallsreporter.com | Sept. 20 2005 |