What a difference an election year makes. Last year Mayor Paul Dyster held the budget hostage in his desk for 37 days and violated the city charter by doing so. This year he presented a perfectly balanced budget right on time. It almost looks like a cynical, calculated, political move on his part.
The campaign slogan we'd like to see: "Frozen water pipes, rising crime, rats, cats, debt, deficit, busted roads and busted budgets. Fast Forward...right off the cliff...with Mayor Dyster!"
The mayor made the city's $7.6 million deficit disappear in the blink of an eye at the budget presentation. With finance management skills like that the mayor and his controller should head off to Washington to zero out the $18 trillion national debt.
City hall sources tell us the mayor used a secret weapon to close his 2016 budget gap. It's called an "eraser" and it's kept on the end of a pencil.
The 2016 city budget? We haven't seen such incredible juggling since the heyday of the Ed Sullivan Show.
If Paul Dyster could cook food the way he cooked the city's books, he'd be an internationally famous chef.
"I didn't manipulate the city finances. I merely misused casino revenue to close a gap that wouldn't have been there if I hadn't been misusing casino cash for the past eight years." A delusional, self justifying thought bubble above Paul Dyster's head.
"Knock, knock! Paul, are you in there? Answer the door, it's me, Alicia. You remember me, don't you?" A recent visitor to city hall.
Great performers think alike.
"You ain't heard nothing yet." Al Jolson in the Jazz Singer.
"You ain't seen nothing yet." Paul Dyster in his third term.
