City Hall Jokes

Don't say he never warned you: Dyster kicked off his campaign for a third term on March 12 telling the small crowd at the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers hall that he wants a third term because "I'm not done yet."

The IBEW hall was full of electricians. But no electricity.

"If the damn Niagara Falls Reporter would just disappear this entire scam would be so much easier!" (a thought bubble above Paul Dyster's head).

The mayor was overheard saying "Those frozen pipes on 72nd Street should have been put ten feet under, the way we bury the truth at City Hall."

The city's new animal rescue van was involved in a rescue two weeks ago. City workers had to pull it out of a LaSalle neighborhood snow pile after the driver lost control of the vehicle. (You can't make this stuff up).

Dyster, always the animal lover, announced "Bring your pit bull to city hall day" to be held in June. We'd like to see him organize "bring your calculator to city hall day" so the suspiciously shifting city deficit could be fixed.

How are Paul Dyster and a pit bull alike? They'll both cost you an arm and a leg.

The three greatest mysteries in American political history:
1-who killed JFK?
2-who was the Watergate "Deep Throat"?
3-Exactly how much slush WAS in Paul Dyster's anonymous slush fund?

Dyster supporter Frank Soda, a member of the Bridge Commission, was just appointed to the Niagara Falls Housing Authority on the recommendation of the mayor, which comes on the heels of Soda's appointment to the city's new "Finance Review Panel" upon the recommendation of council chairman Touma. The Reporter is tracking down the rumor that the omnipresent Mr. Soda is in line to be named as US Ambassador to the United Nations...upon the recommendation of Dyster and Touma.

Mixed news on the Isaiah 61 dilapidated Highland Avenue fire hall project. The bad news is the fire hall roof has collapsed. The good news is the asbestos has been remediated.

We all recently adjusted to DST - Daylight Savings Time. The Reporter is currently adjusting to DFT - Dyster FOIL Time - as the mayor and his Law Department are refusing to turn over documents regarding the frozen pipes on 72nd Street, in spite of the fact that the mayor and Law Department gave those same documents to the Buffalo News weeks ago just three days after the newspaper requested them.